WE BUILT THIS CITY ON A SOLID SEA LEVEL PLATFORM NEAR THE OCEAN FOR GOOD TRADE NEAR SUSTAINABLE RESOURCES AND IN GOOD CLIMATE! (notRcknroll)

when flowers die they just grow back next year imagine if humans did that

take two shots every time a soccer player puts his hands over his head in disbelief

my favorite thing to do at night when everyone is sleeping is to just be super fucking weird and psychotic

My grilled cheese game is untouchable.

when a soccer player is down 'hurt' drink continuously till he gets back up

is it too early in life to just give up and live under a famous bridge

Seriously girls are fucking weird ass fucked up creatures and I don't know why we exist

Is it wrong to keep tweeting new profound ways to discover why you hate people?

We had it figured out as kids with the imaginary friends thing. Adults told us to stop cause they wanted us to suffer with real people too.

haha you think narwhals ever accidentally swim their horn up another narwhals butt

twitter is awes cause I can watch two dudes fall in love on my timeline in real time

crazy how humans love fire like laughin n shit throwin stuff in n burning weird shit then the house catches on fire & they fuckin hate fire

good morning, i want to cut myself.

Still confused as to how my room still isn't cleaned I tried the clean room dance like you all recommended

nothing like a night with family and friends to make you realize how much you fucking hate them when you're in the drive through with them

@hell_homer ;) pic.twitter.com/BcpOAfgL

go to clear my plate but so many things in my hand i just throw everything in the garbage even my mom

you're right dad milk does not go bad, what was I thinking

wait you're telling me if i press the red button when someone's calling it ignores them? WELL FUCK YA NEVER ANSWERING THIS SHIT AGAIN