@roughdiction's most faved Tweets...
My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit in person.
Some interesting facts I learned at the children's museum, lightning bugs are actually beetles and I hate children.
When my girlfriend is angry, I go to Facebook and constantly refresh my relationship status to see if I'm single again.
We met last week at Gymboree. My kid kept hitting yours with that stick. I felt a connection. I wrote my number on your toddler. Call me.
A kid was hitting me with his toy for 15 minutes. I would never hurt a child but I was impressed how well his mom took a punch to the face.
This cab driver thinks I don't notice him taking the long way. I don't mind because I don't have any money anyway.
I'm glad the ex-wife is raising our son vegan because sometimes I run out reasons for wanting to punch her in the face.
You know that feeling you get after a really rewarding day at work?
Could you describe it for the rest of us?
Could you describe it for the rest of us?
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