Popular Recent Faved By Given
Friends: 263
Followers: 4,662
Favs Given: 10,234
Favs Rec'd: 43,789
@roughdiction's most faved Tweets...
roughdiction
My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit in person.
@roughdiction
roughdiction
Some interesting facts I learned at the children's museum, lightning bugs are actually beetles and I hate children.
@roughdiction
roughdiction
That belt really highlights where your waist would be if you had any self control.
@roughdiction
roughdiction
When my girlfriend is angry, I go to Facebook and constantly refresh my relationship status to see if I'm single again.
@roughdiction
roughdiction
Jesus might love me but my girlfriend gives me blowjobs so religion is stupid.
@roughdiction
roughdiction
This oatmeal tastes just like bacon because I threw it away and I'm eating bacon.
@roughdiction
roughdiction
My stars aren't sticking on Favrd. This is such bullshit. They should just shut that site down.
@roughdiction
roughdiction
The more of these social networks I join, the more I hate you people.
@roughdiction
roughdiction
She said if I buy the batteries and don't talk until she is finished, I can take credit for the orgasm.
@roughdiction
roughdiction
My girlfriend gives the best back rubs; the kind where she uses her mouth on my dick.
@roughdiction
roughdiction
Good morning beautiful breasts of my neighbor. How did you get inside these binoculars?
@roughdiction
roughdiction
I figure I have two good years before my son figures out that I'm an asshole.
@roughdiction
roughdiction
If I star her tweet about our relationship problems, thats the same as an apology right?
@roughdiction
roughdiction
Why do they call it a happy meal if it tastes like depression.
@roughdiction
roughdiction
The person I want to be is always overruled by the person I actually am.
@roughdiction
roughdiction
If loving her this way is wrong, I sure hope she doesn't wake up.
@roughdiction
roughdiction
We met last week at Gymboree. My kid kept hitting yours with that stick. I felt a connection. I wrote my number on your toddler. Call me.
@roughdiction
roughdiction
A kid was hitting me with his toy for 15 minutes. I would never hurt a child but I was impressed how well his mom took a punch to the face.
@roughdiction
roughdiction
A wise man once said, Sorry honey I am wrong.
@roughdiction
roughdiction
This cab driver thinks I don't notice him taking the long way. I don't mind because I don't have any money anyway.
@roughdiction
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