Who i gotta blow to get a tweet starred around here? gimme their address ,i go both ways so were good, taken the star hoe thing up a level.

SERIOUS TWEET...AMBER ALERT!!! Edmonton,Kentucky.USA. Little girl, 3 yrs. old picked up by a man driving a gra… (cont) http://deck.ly/~nSG74

Driving around with the ma in law, oldies in the stationwagon, aaaand we just took a wrong turn aka the senile rout! Oh scenic rout whatever

Wish my kid would pass out.....how much exactly is "too much" Jack for a two yr old ?

Time to get white girl wasted!!!! Bong Rips For All!

Found my car keys in my vagina would considered auto-erotic?

My 5yo just bit my 11yo and said " Sorry I thought u were a sandwich!" Lmfao

Been a long day my man is finally sleepin gonna burn one and pass out. see ya'll tweeps tomorrow

Twitter is over capacity kinda like ur Mama when I'm elbow deep.

Miracle Whip = Unicorn Mayonaisse

Keep ur bad ass kids out my fuckin yard I'm not ur fuckin babysitter!

I'm gonna feed these loud ass unattended children to my dog if this bitch don't watch them

I wish I had a low voltage taser for children

Just almost smoked a beetle!,i thought it was half burned weed and almost put it in the bong! That shit was close

So is this like two girls one cup? http://yfrog.com/h780825158j

#Damnifeelold they're playin Metallica on the oldies station

Time for an attitude adjustment gonna bump some @xdannyxbrownx and bong rips of Purple Buddha that should do it

Time to wake n bake...... Or bake so I can wake up! Kids got up early as fuck what part of NO SCHOOL do they not get? Fuck I'm so tired

It's official my 5yr old son is the real life Bobby Hill. Smh

These past few weeks i think I've had *tweeters block. *been sober more than any human should b EVER