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British youths! Good luck with your A-levels, but don't take it too seriously. I've got none and still married a pop star.
Happy St Patrick's Day to all my Irish friends and undiagnosed alcoholics.
I'm going to wait for Tom Daley in the little pool he goes in after he dives and cuddle him too hard.
A-Level students, good luck today- I didn't get any and still ended up with a job as a psychedelic bus driver.
My future wife @katyperry informs me we are to adopt Justin Bieber, we shall raise him with love, but only I will breastfeed him.
The intuitive mind is a gift and the rational mind a servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.
@katyperry YOU'RE A HACKER, A BAD WIFE AND YOUR NATURAL HAIR COLOUR IS GINGER. There's not enough dye in the world to rinse away the lie.
Guy Fawkes! Come back I beseech thee! Give it another shot! You were right! YOU WERE RIGHT!
OH YEAH?! @lord_sugar your name makes you sound like Willy Wonka's boyfriend.
This jubilee is lasting as long as the reign it was intended to celebrate. Milk it Liz!
As tolerant people we must tolerate other people's intolerance or we ourselves are intolerant. #it'sabloodyvortex
I smelt @justinbieber's hair. It was like a vanilla meadow made from lego. I'd eat my dinner off it.
Since Steve Jobs died I cannot bear to see anyone use an iphone irreverently, what I did was a tribute to his memory.
Hello everyone! Can it ever be right to assemble a child army to terrorise people? Surely not. http://t.co/TVHJZ0sg
Watch my documentary on bbc3 tonight, it explains why drug addicts shouldn't take drugs. Non drug addicts- GO NUTS
We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them- Einstein. What a twerp.
If my cats find out it's National Dog Day they'll be furious. They're already fuming about the lipstick I tested on them.
I would never burn money. Unless you count the ten grand I spent on cat jackets.
Stats can't be shown as @rustyrockets has never signed in to Favstar.
