T-splost: "Here, have a shit sandwich with a little bit of mass transit funding in it. Or, have nothing ever." (sigh) yes (takes a shower)

if you see a TV news van camped out on the side of the road, they're waiting for you to wreck. might not want to drive there. #hothlanta

two years later, still would like for this to happen http://t.co/C5aO7uC

let us rejoice in our universal hatred of the florida gators and every rotten thing they stand for

losing to les miles is like being a street fighter II master who loses to a kid who's never played & just mashes the shit out of the buttons

video of my #wcatl presentation on wordpress+google analytics taken with screenflow http://vimeo.com/8651024

"view source" on this page is like opening a mailbox containing an angry cat placed there hours ago

New favorite twitter feed: @_floridaman

safety guy on abc news after air traffic controller fell asleep, caused crash: "we will not sleep until we can guarantee the air is safe"

friend's doctor has a plaque on his wall commending him for putting his hand up ronald reagan's ass

relieved it will only be a misdemeanor to place a microchip in someone's brain in georgia. don't want to risk losing my right to vote.

toomuchcaffienetoomuchcaffienetoomuchcaffienebouncebounceouchcollapse

Job opportunity: Mobile Web Developer at WebMD - Greater Atlanta Area #jobs http://t.co/jVoRVQ7t

name my reality series pitch: contestants steal unattended grocery carts, pay for items, make dinner with whatever they find.

Fitz William Tanton born at home 5/1 @ 5:23am. 8 lbs even, 19 inches tall. Mom and baby healthy. http://t.co/7G6WOc4

SELECT * FROM twitter WHERE tweets NOT LIKE '%sxsw%'

the nintendo 3ds "first reactions" videos remind me of 2 girls 1 cup reaction videos http://t.co/q5MuMhy

OH - kid: "where are your reindeer?" Santa: "I hid 'em 'cause people in Georgia'll shoot at 'em."

did not hit my quota for pantomimed wanking gestures today

2nd comcast internet outage since we added the service less than a month ago. so choice is slow at&t or unreliable comcast. damn it. #fb