I want to retweet all of @itweetnshit's #SingleBecause tweets, but I also don't need a future employer reading these things.

Guys lust after made up, photoshopped celebs, and get mad when girls don't look like that without makeup on... Oh.

YES, THANK YOU. RT @sororityproblem: Nobody cares about your baby.

Why isn't it Tuesday or Thursday? 😩 I need the relaxation of tanning at a discounted rate

no one do this pls RT @gayathomedad: Today's the perfect day to go to your pothead friend's house and BANG VERY LOUDLY ON THEIR FRONT DOOR.

@itweetnshit it's because people realized they were dumb so they perfected their sex skills to ensure companionship

I don't want to go back to Oxford and deal with the real world.

Y'all should put filters on your mouths instead of your pics.

Worst thing ever. “@suicidalbl0nde: A gang of ratchets just said my dress was cute. Now I never want to wear it again”

Some spring rolls and egg drop soup from of changs would be so divine

I get that internships are learning opportunities, but I can't AFFORD to work for free. Nope. Not I.

I see a lot of girls who think they're so level-headed and talk about other girls and their boy problems. But y'all are lonely too. 😔

I'm not ☝RT @kewonhunther9: Women are so damn confused. #fact

😂 RT @jennyjohnsonhi5: Our Lady Of Multiple Penetration RT @kimkardashian: Anyone know of a good church in Miami?

😂 I got your back girl! 🔫🔫🔫 “@hotty_tasha_: Ok, y'all might be 7-0, BUT Y'ALL CAN'T WHOOP ME!!!!!!! 😠😡”

Ooooo, state fans are sooo sensitive. Y'all keep bringing up our past seasons like we weren't there... But I'm going to nap.

My gosh, we elect a black homecoming queen and that spurts racism comments? We can't win with this country!

Dear God, please let us win. Amen & Hotty Toddy.

@kewonhunther9 love ya, mean it.

Jesus take the wheel on this country. 🙏 BUT SERIOUSLY.