I've decided, at the credit of @paulens, to use nothing but Beowulf excerpts for error messages in my next project.

Looking to get some Baby Sitter work? Vic Toews is now hiring! http://t.co/bXLY3zax cc:@pmoharper #TellVicEverything

Updated http://t.co/bXLY3zax because @toewsvic didn't know the content of his own bill. #TellVicEverything #AlwaysProofRead @pmoharper

Every single person who follows me should read this. Every. Single. One. Of. You. http://t.co/4BlJdHgy

Here's a link to Immigration Minister Jason Kenney sounding like a complete asshole (scroll to quote at bottom): http://t.co/dTN5ndpR

Finally listening to @borowitzreport's "An Unexpected Twist". Glad you're alive to tell the story. Hilarious! http://t.co/RKMSIvr

Google's phone - Nexus One - has officially arrived. I wants. http://tr.im/IOY6

I'm fairly certain I've never witnessed such a lack of integrity or leadership than I have with Rob Ford. This guy is straight up pathetic.

"Broten expressed concern that “the premier has trouble saying ‘gay’ in question period, it sounds like.” @cambroten I love it.

I gotta fever, and the only cure for it, is about 6lbs of cheesecake and a nap.

If @pmharper had any class, he'd congratulate the new NDP leader, not release negative talking points before he's even announced. #ndpldr

Hey @netflix - seriously, the horizontal scrolling on your web interface is the worst thing I've ever experienced. Dump it. Users beg you.

http://t.co/bXLY3zax He is now! .@pmoharper: .@globeandmail: #yvr police officers caught viewing porn on the job http://t.co/vpLxxX1I”

Rough week? Need a smile to start your weekend? http://t.co/yadVFCmA cc: @loxyisme

Man. I need to do something like this. CC:@krystiano "@calgarybassist: great facebook profile photo http://t.co/zqnK3PpI via @imgur"

The Oatmeal, once again, simplifies something complex by making it fun and understandable. http://t.co/jhL8XjZB #StopSOPA

If he had just taken a helicopter... "@pmoharper: I lose an MP to drinking and driving http://t.co/lc2Jbnpy #cdnpoli"

Somebody explain to me how buying counterfeit hockey jerseys for $60 is immoral, but charging a kid $300 for "authentic" is perfectly fine?

That joke was Kim Jong Lame. “@dmosher: Kim Jong Il is now Kim Jong Dead. #fb”

For my followers: Here's the wiki on #SOPA. Imagine everything you've ever done on the internet becoming illegal. http://t.co/w0JMNkYF