Millions of people on the east coast are without power right now, but let's focus our attention on a much larger problem: INSTAGRAM IS DOWN!

Dear teenage girls, Please stop tweeting about how sexy the Olympic swimmers are. Sincerely, Your dads... and Jesus.

I get discouraged when I see students post vulgar things online, then I remember that Peter stabbed a guy when he was in Jesus' youth group.

TEENAGERS: God isn't trying to steal your joy when he tells you not to have sex before you're married; He's actually fighting for your joy!

The most offensive picture on the Internet. http://t.co/uyI3jmce

Most teenagers treat dating relationships like my infant son treats my iPhone: He has no clue what its purpose is & he slobbers all over it.

Dear @starbucks, please start a delivery service, or just drive around like ice cream trucks. I'd stop you; we all would. Sincerely, parents

For a woman to give her baby to an adoptive couple is perhaps the most heroic/selfless/loving/difficult thing a person can do. #adoption

My high school students doing the Harlem Shake!  http://youtu.be/QD7AppTs7Lk 

The world's 100 richest people earned enough in 2012 to END global poverty 4 times over.  http://on.digg.com/WfEdjq 

Let's be very slow to tweet today... about anything. Just pray for Newtown.

Now you're just some bunny that I used to know. #easter

NO WAY! This dude just handed them info about MY CHURCH! They just shook hands and walked out. Make room @mission68!!

The ppl of @mission68 gave over $300K this month to feed kids in Malawi. Our goal was $200K. Now 7,501 kids won't worry about food in 2012!!

TRUTH: You were designed by God and are desired by God! APPLICATION: Don't date losers.

IT'S A BOY!!!!! Gavin Samuel Guard was born at 7:42a. He's 9lbs, 12oz and 21.5" long. Here he is meeting mom. http://t.co/hbgixJxD

QUESTION: Why are there so many birthdays in November? ANSWER: Valentine's Day.

How can a man be sharp enough to become the GOP nominee for President, yet not be able to see that Joseph Smith was clearly a false prophet?

Clouds, Clouds, Clouds, Clouds, Clouds, Clouds, Food, Clouds, Clouds, Food, Clouds, Clouds, Clouds, Clouds, Clouds, Clouds, Food. #instagram

"How come this restroom only has toilet stalls?!" - what I thought a moment before panic set in as I stood in the girl's restroom at church.