Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
It was fun.
Nothing speaks to me better than when I cue up behind a girl who has a label at the back of her trousers saying "For your eyes only"
Been working on graphs so much dat when I was told 2 "run against time", I plotted a graph of me on d Y-axis against time on d X, in my head
Was staring at a pair of boobs till dinner was served. Now I'm overcome w/ lust. I've never seen a sexier dinner with such an exotic taste
Christian Friend: Lust is the desire for their body; love is the desire for their soul.
Me: Doesn't that mean the devil loves us all.
My most creative moments are when I'm writing a status report of d work I did d previous week.
Well they r also my most deceptive moments
Planned to hv a good 1-on-1 talk w/ the kid. But now dat d topic has shifted to girls, it's only fair dat my definition of "good" shifts too
Carefully stared at all the many girls I met today.
Now I'm sure that if I have a boring night tonight, my imagination at least won't.
A friend went to a concert & texted me saying, she just saw a STAR.
Now I'm texting her a link to my favstar page saying,knock yourself out
Strange.... I had an erection before looking up and seeing the girl.
Does that mean that my Weiner is now self-aware??
Was looking at my neighbor's dumb dog & I tot, humans r just animals w/ greater intellect. Then I saw its owner & went, "or equal intellect"
My neighbor's dog is loud and stupid.
It takes that after its owner.
The neighbor's 12yr old kid runs out of his house & asks me for a condom. So I asked the obvious:
"How r u planning on making it stand?"
Pain only becomes incessantly overwhelming when we choose to live an illusion of life that makes it so.
Death: "The cure for life" - Wouldn't you like to know
Life: "A sexually-transmitted, terminal disease." - Anonymous
As my neighbor was telling me hw gud his married life is,his kids broke his car's windshield.Now we're fixing it & I'm like,"u were saying?"
This is crazy. I'm instinctively carrying a pen & notepad around. Just so that if I can't tweet, I can atleast write down the bloody tweet.
NICE!! Just discovered that my "people-that-hate-me" list just grew by one. Now I should get more favs when I make jokes against myself.