It’s weird that pirates went from shore to shore looking for buried treasure when the real treasure was in the friendships they were making.

Haiku about finals:
no no no no no
no no no no no no no
no no no no no

Nothing will ever be as funny as the cover of Tina Fey's book.

It's too bad that Mike Jeffries is more known as the fat-people-hating CEO of Abercrombie instead of the best history teacher in the world.

My goal in life is now to marry @dirtydave37, but he has to dress and act like his character from the play all the time.

The entire Helias class of 2012 was at Mizzou tonight.

... I remember that one time Brooke called Greg Jenkins and told him she had feelings for him and I laugh and laugh and laugh.

Are you a traffic sign because stop.

There is literally nothing cuter than Anderson Cooper giggling.

My hobbies include actively avoiding people from high school that I see in Jeff City.

Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.

@casanova_jones Your cat tat keeps me up at night too.

All I want to do is go home and hang out with @shannonmargaret and @codybraun.

I was just in a video for SLU101 so technically I'm a movie star so maybe me and Matt Damon will work out after all.

Literally all I want out of life is a house with secret passages.

If @shannonmargaret doesn't answer the phone by saying, "Cello!" she is missing out on a major opportunity,

Hey guys, remember the Lodge Squad? Lol I'm so glad high school is over.

Writing my first English paper about the best place in the world, Summit Plaza Theater.

I sent a bottle of sparkling apple juice to your house.

IF YU HAD THA CHAHNCE TA CHEENGE YA FAET, WOOJEHR?