If I don't remember your name, I actually feel like that's more your fault than mine.

If you translate 'nigga numerator' to Japanese & back to English in Google translate it's "Dachi molecule". @bigboi tell Andre I'm on to him

There's about to be black on snack violence all up in this bitch.

My hoodie brings all the boys to the yard & they're like 'it's more suspicious than ours' damn right you can shoot me & you wont get charged

Bros: if a chick talks about how she has guy friends b/c she can't stand girls, but is herself very girly: run. I'll explain later run now

Hugs not drugs! Except hugging releases oxytocin, which is a mind-altering hormone. So keep hugging away you pathetic addicts you disgust me

You know how you never let a drowning person grab onto you cuz they'll take you down w/ them? That applies to insecure people too.

Santa is a bourgeoisie myth to keep the proletariat children in line by making them believe Christmas is meritocratic

Happy World AIDS Day! Or as it's known in Africa, Thursday.

I like to say "irregardless" just to watch dark haired introvert girls' brains short-circuit.

I think a lot of my butthurtness about existence comes from life being primarily cyclical and I'm kind of a linear bro.

I ain't say she a gold digger / but she moved to California in 1849

When something's relevant or on point regarding Afro-Americans, it's blaccurate.

White people act like they want to improve race relations but then they let @kreayshawn happen.

The downside to being the only negro in a given social setting is if you accidentally knock up someone's wife it's obvious who did it.

Hey everybody, if you have a friend named Lana, let her know that's 'Anal" backwards.

IF YOU'RE NAUGHTY, LET'S DO IT, RIDE IT, MY REINDEER / MY SLEIGH IS, WAITING RT @dudehugs: wait, ginuwine JUST released a christmas album?!

All of my roommates are out of the house at the same time. Time to finally flop my penis on every usable surface in the place.

So, if I understand correctly, dubstep fans get super excited when the song stops and then starts again a few moments later?

That texting conversation between you and your best friend is hilarious. You should post it online. They'll probably give you your own show.