OMG, brilliant! "Ethiopian kids hack OLPCs in 5 months with zero instruction"  http://dvice.com/archives/2012/10/ethiopian-kids.php …

Hey #pdx, if you live in the area indicated on this map, you need to boil your water! http://t.co/75eUXhp2

I got 99 problems and they’re all Fahrenheits #pdx

Someone please open a pho place called, "What the Pho?!" Thanks!

I like Google+ but I keep forgetting about it.

Congrats to @jean_marie on the launch of FLERGERNDERSERGN DERT CERM! Check it out at: http://t.co/9GCsdI8I

Ha! More Emoji gets a good applause! More than iCloud stuff. #WWDC12

Yo momma’s so big she needs a Retina MacBookPro to see photos of herself.

NSBeer tomorrow (06/26) at 6pm at Produce Row Café back patio. http://t.co/HRNdcYTJ

We keep losing Jobs here in America.

@davehayden You've never seemed like much of a hard ass.

PSA: U.S. Birth Rate is at the lowest level ever. You know what to do. Just do it.

Lovely Thanksgiving with @wardomatic, @hulaseventy, @ylatan, @bsneed and their adorable kids. Thank you all so much! :-)

Hey @ylatan, I just thought you should know that someone is taking over your identity. /cc @steveriggins pic.twitter.com/6BwDhAm5

That time when you remember that you wanted to go running but instead go for a double burger at Lardo.

@bsneed “… and buy him a beer” FTFY

@bsneed The pictures I take with it will be so sweet I won’t even need to apply artsy filters to them, especially the food.

Are you attending MFNW? Customize the schedule here: http://t.co/SCzZZVn8

Yo momma called; she wants the skycrane back so that she can be lowered off her bed.

I hope Dr. Manhattan doesn’t see @marscuriosity landing. He may mess it up just for laughs.