Favstar.fm
Sign Out
How it Works
Bonus Features
Settings
@samhey
Sam Hey
twitter
add user to your favstar list
remove user from your favstar list
login to add user to your favstar list
Favs Rec'd
30,948
Awards Rec'd
14
Favstar Lists In
96
Following
190
Followers
3,400
Say what again.
Best Of
Recent
Discovered
Favstar
makes Twitter
more fun
See your own most popular tweets
Get the best tweets from members
See tweets starred by people you follow
Sign in via Twitter
No Password Required
Explore
Discover New Tweets
Leaderboard
Tweets of the Day
All Time
Popular People
Tweeted from Favstar
@samhey’s (Sam Hey) best tweets
Most Favorited Tweets
Most Retweeted Tweets
unfollow
Follow
Watching my daughter slowly pour her milk all over the kitchen floor, I can only assume that one of her homies got shot.
@samhey
unfav
fav
reply
retweet
tweet of the day
228
Favs
219
Others
52
RTs
43
Others
Retweet Details
unfollow
Follow
In comic books most superheroes are scientists. In the GOP, scientists are villains. I want to live in a world where science is good.
@samhey
unfav
fav
reply
retweet
tweet of the day
105
Favs
96
Others
173
RTs
164
Others
Retweet Details
unfollow
Follow
Mama said there'd be days like this. Mama also said KNOCK YOU OUT. Mama drank a lot.
@samhey
unfav
fav
reply
retweet
tweet of the day
141
Favs
132
Others
60
RTs
51
Others
Retweet Details
unfollow
Follow
A reluctant hero. An epic journey. And no chance of a happy ending.
The Late Night Husband Tampon Run.
Coming soon to a 7-11 near you.
@samhey
unfav
fav
reply
retweet
tweet of the day
175
Favs
166
Others
18
RTs
9
Others
Retweet Details
unfollow
Follow
Parenthood is an ongoing analysis as to why things are damp.
@samhey
unfav
fav
reply
retweet
tweet of the day
133
Favs
124
Others
12
RTs
3
Others
Retweet Details
unfollow
Follow
Life is like a stack of pancakes. Can't finish metaphor, busy eating delicious life.
@samhey
unfav
fav
reply
retweet
tweet of the day
125
Favs
116
Others
15
RTs
6
Others
Retweet Details
unfollow
Follow
I'M DRINKING OF A NUMBER BETWEEN ONE AND ELEPHANT
@samhey
unfav
fav
reply
retweet
tweet of the day
140
Favs
131
Others
unfollow
Follow
The dog is giving me a look somewhere between Remember That Time You Fed Me A Can Of Pringles and Screw You You're Not My Real Dad.
@samhey
unfav
fav
reply
retweet
tweet of the day
124
Favs
115
Others
9
RTs
Retweet Details
unfollow
Follow
I should do a cooking show where I throw things in the microwave and yell at children.
@samhey
unfav
fav
reply
retweet
tweet of the day
125
Favs
116
Others
7
RTs
Retweet Details
unfollow
Follow
Tomorrow we stuff bread up a dead bird's ass and then go midnight wrestle at department stores. I love you, America.
@samhey
unfav
fav
reply
retweet
tweet of the day
69
Favs
60
Others
54
RTs
45
Others
Retweet Details
unfollow
Follow
I think it's a problem that the only noise my wife makes during sex is repeatedly whispering 'unsubscribe.'
@samhey
unfav
fav
reply
retweet
tweet of the day
102
Favs
93
Others
4
RTs
Retweet Details
unfollow
Follow
I feel a little bad about peeing in the pool my children swim in, but margaritas.
@samhey
unfav
fav
reply
retweet
tweet of the day
98
Favs
89
Others
5
RTs
Retweet Details
unfollow
Follow
GIRL, YOU SO FINE, YOU'RE LIKE THE MICRO-ABRASIVE SANDPAPER USED TO SMOOTH THE EDGES OF THOSE TINY WOODEN BOATS INSIDE OF BOTTLES. DAMN.
@samhey
unfav
fav
reply
retweet
tweet of the day
91
Favs
82
Others
11
RTs
2
Others
Retweet Details
unfollow
Follow
Why do dentists always lick their lips when they tell you it's time to disrobe?
@samhey
unfav
fav
reply
retweet
tweet of the day
98
Favs
89
Others
2
RTs
Retweet Details
unfollow
Follow
I love the smell of bacon in the always.
@samhey
unfav
fav
reply
retweet
tweet of the day
91
Favs
82
Others
6
RTs
Retweet Details
unfollow
Follow
People who jog before work are like unicorns to me - I want to capture them and drink the life-giving escence from their foreheads.
@samhey
unfav
fav
reply
retweet
tweet of the day
75
Favs
66
Others
22
RTs
13
Others
Retweet Details
unfollow
Follow
It's all warm and merry until the nativity donkey gets an erection. Good lord.
@samhey
unfav
fav
reply
retweet
tweet of the day
95
Favs
86
Others
2
RTs
Retweet Details
unfollow
Follow
I don't like your face. Especially in this economy.
@samhey
unfav
fav
reply
retweet
tweet of the day
90
Favs
81
Others
4
RTs
Retweet Details
unfollow
Follow
I was just about to use 'erudite' in a sentence when the wine and cheese farts kicked in.
@samhey
unfav
fav
reply
retweet
tweet of the day
88
Favs
79
Others
5
RTs
Retweet Details
unfollow
Follow
Sometimes, late at night, Bobby McFerrin thinks to himself, "Fuck this shit."
@samhey
unfav
fav
reply
retweet
tweet of the day
88
Favs
79
Others
5
RTs
Retweet Details
Want to see more tweets? Get Favstar Bonus Features
My Favstar List
Recent
Discovered
New Tweet
140