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  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    The problem with marriage is that it was invented when people lived to the ripe old age of 30.

    • 1,816
    • FAVS
    EdJohnson2Sheri_DeCarlolegrant101DonniespaarkoxnailbunnyxYes_imrobAmelia_DrawsCleaner_Steve
    • 1,081
    • RETWEETS
    legrant101obsoletegodYes_imrobAmelia_DrawsCleaner_Stevestacywawa1getyourownavi__PinkLipstitch
    ToxicProbablyArrowsOfTheSunanjadrischtitletown___Lil_Sassy_Melife_suckerphxguy881HappytwitMyLoveGoesDown____uMakeMeBaddrgoobyElifcelloBonerfiedtwit
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    "Do what you love & the money will follow."

    Ate some pizza, harassed a telemarketer, & took a 6 hr nap in my underwear.

    And now, I wait...

    • 1,438
    • FAVS
    viciousbabydollYapShaiwhereami18LBelle1justMomThanksShockZ314Casper27078451italianbella08
    • 951
    • RETWEETS
    whereami18LordesequielManda598Glove_Monkeyminnie_in_pink7betowmxstephpauluslegrant101
    lucyworld1Tuna_LoverK0VIE1800Randy
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Yeah, I really don't think this whole "responsible adult" thing is gonna work out.

    • 831
    • FAVS
    Jennifer_bbwlegrant101journojunoCleaner_Stevegetyourownavi__SasspantsjJonnyKoolerOCEzeadi
    • 455
    • RETWEETS
    salemkattlegrant101Cleaner_Stevegetyourownavi__SasspantsjJonnyKoolerdavid_tullimmortallord_
    curlymalloyNicholey23
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Even if it hurts like hell, I'd rather hear the truth than be smothered by silence and lies.

    • 676
    • FAVS
    POETS_WRITERSUntouchableShelegrant101iGreenMonkYes_imrobCleaner_SteveJonnyKoolerOCEzeadi
    • 320
    • RETWEETS
    EdJohnson2POETS_WRITERSUntouchableShelegrant101FriskyOnWhiskeyCleaner_SteveJonnyKoolerJessiDreamer26
    GreeneyedManiacVotremelodieblaque_jaque______nativerogue
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I wish that voice in my head that told me not to do stupid things was actually in charge.

    • 648
    • FAVS
    EdJohnson2legrant101PegRothschildJonnyKoolerOCEzeadidavid_tullviolet_heartinBamaMan68
    • 331
    • RETWEETS
    EdJohnson2legrant101JonnyKoolerdavid_tullJamesonN7tasmeyahJung_Padawanrupal_87
    junkyardiganNotthatAdamWestktoab____________
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    So hubs will only let me buy boxed wine now, which is super economical because I'm saving the cardboard for his new house under the bridge.

    • 642
    • FAVS
    EdJohnson2hmmcclearyUntouchableShemrbuster60daphnepotter69legrant101JonnyKoolerPyroDego
    • 218
    • RETWEETS
    hmmcclearymrbuster60daphnepotter69legrant101JonnyKoolerdavid_tullgi_problemchildlacybronze1
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    You call it procrastination. I call it ingenious avoidance.

    Either way, lets talk about it later.

    • 540
    • FAVS
    valzhoganraginbull67Amiigatvelina1115rage_chaosnewstart43synchrosignsLostInWydaho
    • 281
    • RETWEETS
    raginbull67Amiigatchompy_jrnewstart43synchrosignsLostInWydahoxosmEdJohnson2
    JizzIam__________
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I don't want to fix or change your tortured soul. I only want to wait out the storm with you, & take your hand when the sun comes out again.

    • 444
    • FAVS
    EdJohnson2legrant101brewcitytatgirlJonnyKoolerkikdbakbitchdavid_tullviolet_heartindbgindy
    • 221
    • RETWEETS
    EdJohnson2legrant101JonnyKoolerkikdbakbitchsarakelly1601JamesonN7UnethicalGniusfavstar_history
    CynicalLongkathoops_DaddyThat_Damn_Duck
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    The moment some bacon fell out of my mouth and landed on my boob, as I lie here on the couch reading Twitter, I realized my true sexiness.

    • 528
    • FAVS
    nayomeewallacelegrant101JonnyKoolerOCEzeadikikdbakbitchviolet_heartinlacybronze1JamesonN7
    • 131
    • RETWEETS
    EdJohnson2legrant101JonnyKoolerJamesonN7zerofish75live_free_4everAmiigatviciousbabydoll
    curlymalloy
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    My inner brat needs a good spanking.

    • 498
    • FAVS
    EdJohnson2legrant101JonnyKoolerOCEzeadiPyroDegoJimCooprkikdbakbitchwendi_furguson
    • 155
    • RETWEETS
    legrant101JonnyKoolerkikdbakbitchviolet_heartinlacybronze1rupal_87Comakazi_Fuzzme_rule_I________
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Me to 11yo:Quit playing your xbox so much. Son:OK, when you quit playing that phone game trying to get lots of followers." Touche, lil shit.

    • 480
    • FAVS
    NobodysGirlieEdJohnson2UntouchableShelegrant101JonnyKoolerPyroDegoCandyySaysLevDog23
    • 145
    • RETWEETS
    EdJohnson2legrant101JonnyKoolerCrazyIdiot6bryanmcc74violet_heartinlacybronze1zerofish75
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    In my perfect world, chips and queso would have no fat, calories or carbs, and margaritas would be weight loss supplements.

    • 428
    • FAVS
    RoechelleFoleylegrant101JonnyKoolerPyroDegoviolet_heartinCaribbePirate76gi_problemchildlacybronze1
    • 169
    • RETWEETS
    RoechelleFoleyEdJohnson2legrant101JonnyKoolerviolet_heartinMaegaraaziegesmallzgi_problemchild
    lakeanagirlSoapyJohnsonErik_Allenmartianhaiku______fuckmylife2hell
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Son's observation: Mom, I've noticed every criminal either has hair or doesn't have hair.
    He's a genius, this one.

    • 480
    • FAVS
    NobodysGirlieEdJohnson2UntouchableShelostandalone131legrant101JonnyKoolerkikdbakbitchviolet_heartin
    • 114
    • RETWEETS
    EdJohnson2legrant101JonnyKoolerviolet_heartinSunitaSK_________rupal_87cbudmerrickTheCrumbDiary
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Going grocery shopping with my kids is just one of the many special bonding moments that makes me want to fucking kill myself.

    • 453
    • FAVS
    EdJohnson2lostandalone131legrant101Gupton68MayYouMe18JonnyKoolerkikdbakbitchScrambledMceggs
    • 140
    • RETWEETS
    legrant101MayYouMe18JonnyKoolerdavid_tullwhoretinaBuzzee09UnethicalGniusSunitaSK_________
    A_SmartAss
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I'm all for eating apples, but I really think an orgasm a day is much more health conscious.

    • 400
    • FAVS
    EdJohnson2legrant101OCEzeadikikdbakbitchdavid_tullwendi_furgusonviolet_heartinJamesonN7
    • 165
    • RETWEETS
    legrant101kikdbakbitchviolet_heartinselknaAmiigatviciousbabydollrupal_87Comakazi_Fuzz
    drgooby
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Dear 22 year old me: just wait, Bitch, it gets sooooo much better.
    Love, older, wiser and sexier me.

    • 421
    • FAVS
    lostandalone131legrant101kikdbakbitchviolet_heartinJamesonN7rupal_87Comakazi_Fuzzcbudmerrick
    • 115
    • RETWEETS
    legrant101rupal_87beauty_killakayTheCrumbDiaryNotReallyNo_CatfishGoneWildJames_McBurnieRaslutberryJam
    curlymalloy
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I have no time or patience for games in my relationships.

    Unless by "games" you're referring to naked Twister. I can make time for that.

    • 362
    • FAVS
    EdJohnson2hmmwalshlegrant101LevDog23violet_heartinJamesonN7rupal_87RobertH89551825
    • 157
    • RETWEETS
    legrant101LevDog23rupal_87Comakazi_FuzzNotReallyNo_James_McBurnieLaVieDaLolaMsJLSRealRite
    _vacant___________A_SmartAss
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Guys, if you're cheating and we don't say anything, we're either gathering evidence, or we're glad someone else is keeping you occupied.

    • 375
    • FAVS
    EdJohnson2legrant101OCEzeadikikdbakbitchviolet_heartinJamesonN7viciousbabydollrupal_87
    • 140
    • RETWEETS
    EdJohnson2legrant101violet_heartinrupal_87findsamimbreatheandloveNotReallyNo_enjoyingsummers
    wesjohnson8JackieluvsUK
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Sometimes it takes only a moment of clarity to align your heart and head, to see through the disillusion, and adjust your path to truth.

    • 292
    • FAVS
    EdJohnson2legrant101RoyceRoyaleOCEzeadiviolet_heartinJamesonN7rupal_87amitCanojia
    • 161
    • RETWEETS
    legrant101MaeNuerrupal_87amitCanojiaComakazi_FuzzNotReallyNo_James_McBurnieRaslutberryJam
    silent_musings
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I love when I cross that line between lightly buzzed and just beautifully drunk. Heavenly.

    • 328
    • FAVS
    EdJohnson2viciousbabydolllegrant101OCEzeadiviolet_heartinJamesonN7rupal_87Comakazi_Fuzz
    • 99
    • RETWEETS
    legrant101violet_heartinrupal_87NotReallyNo_James_McBurniefavamp__RaslutberryJamcastabignet
    Southernboy_420curlymalloy
@Samigrl2

@Samigrl2

What in the hell am I supposed to write here?