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  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    The problem with marriage is that it was invented when people lived to the ripe old age of 30.

    • 1,881
    • FAVS
    cozbelligerentBakedEllesavage_wienerWhiteRabbitRiostubie57NATxHANDrDweezilTCinStL
    • 1,121
    • RETWEETS
    cozbelligerentsavage_wienerstubie57SinghSaabIsBackhirojesuscole_slavTCinStLhythemafia
    ToxicProbablyArrowsOfTheSunThrill_Tweetertitletown___Nope_ishlife_suckerphxguy881HappytwitMyLoveGoesDown____uMakeMeBadle_don_juan__ElifcelloBonerfiedtwit
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    "Do what you love & the money will follow."

    Ate some pizza, harassed a telemarketer, & took a 6 hr nap in my underwear.

    And now, I wait...

    • 1,473
    • FAVS
    cozbelligerentSchtickzingertddybearsuicideThee1_4UScarletStonerhirojesusNATxHANahatwearer
    • 976
    • RETWEETS
    SchtickzingerThee1_4UhirojesusTheAlexNevildellen01zolofighterCheetoe4ZoeeSom
    lucyworld1Tuna_LoverK0VIE1800Randy
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Yeah, I really don't think this whole "responsible adult" thing is gonna work out.

    • 863
    • FAVS
    cozbelligerentDrinkingatWorktddybearsuicideNotSoPsychicThee1_4UBobinhidinghirojesusNATxHAN
    • 475
    • RETWEETS
    PrettyFelonscozbelligerentDrinkingatWorkThee1_4Ustubie57hirojesuscaptaincoximusAmiigat
    curlymalloyNicholey23
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Even if it hurts like hell, I'd rather hear the truth than be smothered by silence and lies.

    • 689
    • FAVS
    hirojesusTheAlexNevilzolofighterCheetoe4IuneaurA_Bike_GuyMaryFuckinMoraStarksWeek__
    • 332
    • RETWEETS
    LifeOfZeePartySinghSaabIsBackhirojesusBonJovi32Cheetoe4ashcay2000A_Bike_GuyMaryFuckinMora
    GreeneyedMofoVotremelodie__blaque_jaque______nativerogue
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I wish that voice in my head that told me not to do stupid things was actually in charge.

    • 671
    • FAVS
    cozbelligerentWhiteRabbitRiohirojesushepburnanasTheAlexNevilDaNaLa13Cheetoe4idiosity
    • 345
    • RETWEETS
    hirojesuslittlemisspsunTheAlexNevilCheetoe4motrboatrKellyHintMaryFuckinMoraStarksWeek__
    junkyardiganNotthatAdamWestktoab____________
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    So hubs will only let me buy boxed wine now, which is super economical because I'm saving the cardboard for his new house under the bridge.

    • 673
    • FAVS
    reedstrom_kelliWhiteRabbitRiohirojesustwistynthebrainLaurieDuvall3TheAlexNevilHeyZeus666SissiSay
    • 235
    • RETWEETS
    hirojesusLaurieDuvall3TheAlexNevilSigneSaysSo__mav3ylisafrazzPoteMegsDoll
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    You call it procrastination. I call it ingenious avoidance.

    Either way, lets talk about it later.

    • 562
    • FAVS
    Chahta_Ishkihirojesuskrishna_vanlizknopfSophiaMacRaeLoesfantasticoMythicalCrystalLuvsMyMunchkie
    • 295
    • RETWEETS
    SinghSaabIsBackChahta_Ishkihirojesuskrishna_vanDJEternalRefugeMythicalCrystalLuvsMyMunchkieSpdrman59
    JizzIam__________
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I don't want to fix or change your tortured soul. I only want to wait out the storm with you, & take your hand when the sun comes out again.

    • 461
    • FAVS
    HeyZeus666RobertReichlCrazyForMoxley__JGrumbieidiosityWhiskeyMeBabykeyblur_justinjordiahamilton
    • 231
    • RETWEETS
    AntraLeo4Pieces_0f_Meidiosityemeraldjade33keyblur_justinblushrts123456__A_Bike_GuyMaryFuckinMora
    CynicalLongkathoops_DaddyThat_Damn_Duck
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    The moment some bacon fell out of my mouth and landed on my boob, as I lie here on the couch reading Twitter, I realized my true sexiness.

    • 538
    • FAVS
    krishna_vanazw757OhgoddessitsmeovereaseeStarksWeek__KentWGrahamgabemakesmusicadtyarathi
    • 135
    • RETWEETS
    krishna_vanStarksWeek__gabemakesmusicTlaxBoy05EdJohnson2legrant101JonnyKoolerJamesonN7
    curlymalloy
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    My inner brat needs a good spanking.

    • 508
    • FAVS
    Irritanjaazw757OhgoddessitsmeovereaseeA_Bike_GuyStarksWeek__Pee_And_Gigglesgabemakesmusic
    • 160
    • RETWEETS
    littlemisspsuniBLOOdyNONSENSEA_Bike_GuyStarksWeek__TlaxBoy05legrant101JonnyKoolerkikdbakbitch
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Me to 11yo:Quit playing your xbox so much. Son:OK, when you quit playing that phone game trying to get lots of followers." Touche, lil shit.

    • 493
    • FAVS
    OhgoddessitsmeLoesfantasticovidalsgTheMightyOak1overeaseeblushrts123456__StarksWeek__KentWGraham
    • 148
    • RETWEETS
    vidalsgStarksWeek__TlaxBoy05EdJohnson2legrant101JonnyKoolerCrazyIdiot6bryanmcc74
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    In my perfect world, chips and queso would have no fat, calories or carbs, and margaritas would be weight loss supplements.

    • 438
    • FAVS
    hrmyersailormoonie135OhgoddessitsmejordiahamiltonStarksWeek__Pee_And_GigglesOCEzeadigabemakesmusic
    • 175
    • RETWEETS
    littlemisspsunvivan13ashcay2000OhgoddessitsmeStarksWeek__TlaxBoy05RoechelleFoleyEdJohnson2
    lakeanagirlSoapyJohnsonErik_Allenmartianhaiku______fuckmylife2hell
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Son's observation: Mom, I've noticed every criminal either has hair or doesn't have hair.
    He's a genius, this one.

    • 492
    • FAVS
    DrDweezilDebbieTuitama4SLarsOhgoddessitsmeLoesfantasticoStarksWeek__Pee_And_GigglesKentWGraham
    • 117
    • RETWEETS
    iBLOOdyNONSENSEStarksWeek__TlaxBoy05EdJohnson2legrant101JonnyKoolerviolet_heartinSunitaSK_________
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Going grocery shopping with my kids is just one of the many special bonding moments that makes me want to fucking kill myself.

    • 463
    • FAVS
    dianelcusslerTwoScoopsofpeaOhgoddessitsmevidalsgStarksWeek__Pee_And_GigglesKentWGrahamgabemakesmusic
    • 144
    • RETWEETS
    iBLOOdyNONSENSEvidalsgStarksWeek__TlaxBoy05legrant101MayYouMe18JonnyKoolerdavid_tull
    A_SmartAss
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I'm all for eating apples, but I really think an orgasm a day is much more health conscious.

    • 409
    • FAVS
    sailormoonie135Dannigurl45OhgoddessitsmeJulieSnarkStarksWeek__sagemoonstonegabemakesmusicadtyarathi
    • 169
    • RETWEETS
    iBLOOdyNONSENSEOhgoddessitsmeStarksWeek__TlaxBoy05legrant101kikdbakbitchviolet_heartinselkna
    le_don_juan__
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Guys, if you're cheating and we don't say anything, we're either gathering evidence, or we're glad someone else is keeping you occupied.

    • 397
    • FAVS
    hirojesusColinBevis1dogpile1and2KYGingerervin_toddfreecitysoundstahabaig621lifessubatomic
    • 153
    • RETWEETS
    SinghSaabIsBackhirojesusdogpile1and2iBLOOdyNONSENSElifessubatomicjustwanttobeme3KellyHintvidalsg
    wesjohnson8JackieluvsUK
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Dear 22 year old me: just wait, Bitch, it gets sooooo much better.
    Love, older, wiser and sexier me.

    • 429
    • FAVS
    Ohgoddessitsmejamisondg1StarksWeek__Pee_And_GigglessagemoonstonegabemakesmusicadtyarathiTlaxBoy05
    • 118
    • RETWEETS
    iBLOOdyNONSENSEStarksWeek__TlaxBoy05legrant101rupal_87__beauty_killakayTheCrumbDiaryNotReallyNo_
    curlymalloy
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I have no time or patience for games in my relationships.

    Unless by "games" you're referring to naked Twister. I can make time for that.

    • 371
    • FAVS
    bwcraftjrLilsweetpea17Ohgoddessitsmejamisondg1StarksWeek__Pee_And_Gigglessagemoonstoneadtyarathi
    • 164
    • RETWEETS
    iBLOOdyNONSENSEJessimica87Lilsweetpea17OhgoddessitsmeiiHNSStarksWeek__TlaxBoy05legrant101
    _vacant___________A_SmartAss
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Sometimes it takes only a moment of clarity to align your heart and head, to see through the disillusion, and adjust your path to truth.

    • 305
    • FAVS
    Lilsweetpea17Iuneaurboo_boo_01A_Bike_GuyOhgoddessitsmeStarksWeek__toyotaman1988CMeier324
    • 172
    • RETWEETS
    littlemisspsuniBLOOdyNONSENSELilsweetpea17JacstarDocA_Bike_GuyStarksWeek__harnessdhashtagtoyotaman1988
    silent_musings
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I love when I cross that line between lightly buzzed and just beautifully drunk. Heavenly.

    • 336
    • FAVS
    justwanttobeme3KatedumplingsStarksWeek__shannon2703adtyarathiPitinkaPussycatPlaceTlaxBoy05
    • 108
    • RETWEETS
    littlemisspsuniBLOOdyNONSENSEjustwanttobeme3Na007sITuoheyStarksWeek__Adriana_Stouder__PussycatPlace
    Southernboy_420curlymalloy
@Samigrl2

@Samigrl2

What in the hell am I supposed to write here?