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  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    The problem with marriage is that it was invented when people lived to the ripe old age of 30.

    • 1,920
    • FAVS
    Kimmi_McTittiesLaBelleMaeelliephantasticimsolamejinkeelovemydogduckmikermendezthefosterer
    • 1,152
    • RETWEETS
    matt_travellingelliephantasticjinkeelovemydogducksweetg35mikermendezBlondAmbitionTOAngryPortland
    ToxicProbablyArrowsOfTheSunThrill_Tweeterhaze103Nope_ishlife_suckerphxguy881HappytwitMyLoveGoesDown____uMakeMeBadle_don_juan__ElifcelloBonerfiedtwit
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    "Do what you love & the money will follow."

    Ate some pizza, harassed a telemarketer, & took a 6 hr nap in my underwear.

    And now, I wait...

    • 1,483
    • FAVS
    sweetg35BlondAmbitionTOTheTrueDocLovebgirl314andyhainusLiam_Smith1990AGreaterMonsterSantaDearest
    • 983
    • RETWEETS
    TheTrueDocLovebgirl314rararachelLiam_Smith1990AGreaterMonsterfreedom27261BamaDudeSchtickzinger
    lucyworld1Tuna_LoverK0VIE1800Randy
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Yeah, I really don't think this whole "responsible adult" thing is gonna work out.

    • 877
    • FAVS
    elliephantasticjinkeelovemydogducksweetg35BlondAmbitionTOAngryPortlandTheTrueDocLoveJTQuest
    • 486
    • RETWEETS
    jinkeelovemydogducksweetg35TheTrueDocLoveKatarinaKrizSaertjeMirrorkookoozie818Newbie
    curlymalloyNicholey23
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Even if it hurts like hell, I'd rather hear the truth than be smothered by silence and lies.

    • 697
    • FAVS
    sweetg35TheTrueDocLoveKatarinaKrizfreedom2726maggiethecat27thhambriceandyfwhite1BamaDude
    • 339
    • RETWEETS
    sweetg35TheTrueDocLoveKatarinaKrizM01_davidmaggiethecat27thhambrice1BamaDudeLifeOfZeeParty
    GreeneyedMofoVotremelodieblaque_jaque______nativerogue
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I wish that voice in my head that told me not to do stupid things was actually in charge.

    • 678
    • FAVS
    sweetg35TheTrueDocLoveKatarinaKrizAGreaterMonsterfreedom2726TheEighthKnight1BamaDudecozbelligerent
    • 349
    • RETWEETS
    TheTrueDocLoveAGreaterMonsterfreedom27261BamaDudehirojesuslittlemisspsunTheAlexNevilCheetoe4
    junkyardiganNotthatAdamWestktoab____________
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    So hubs will only let me buy boxed wine now, which is super economical because I'm saving the cardboard for his new house under the bridge.

    • 679
    • FAVS
    sweetg35TheTrueDocLoveKatarinaKrizGypsysoul__AGreaterMonster1BamaDudereedstrom_kelliWhiteRabbitRio
    • 238
    • RETWEETS
    mikeytheweaselAGreaterMonster1BamaDudehirojesusLaurieDuvall3TheAlexNevilSigneSaysSo__mav3y
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    You call it procrastination. I call it ingenious avoidance.

    Either way, lets talk about it later.

    • 571
    • FAVS
    jinkeesweetg35AngryPortlandTheTrueDocLoveKatarinaKrizelina3225AGreaterMonsterfreedom2726
    • 302
    • RETWEETS
    jinkeesweetg35TheTrueDocLovekyr_AenaoSpsych0ciaraAGreaterMonster1BamaDudeSinghSaabIsBack
    JizzIam__________
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I don't want to fix or change your tortured soul. I only want to wait out the storm with you, & take your hand when the sun comes out again.

    • 465
    • FAVS
    TheTrueDocLoveKatarinaKrizhippocroteez1BamaDudeHeyZeus666RobertReichlCrazyForMoxley__JGrumbie
    • 233
    • RETWEETS
    TheTrueDocLove1BamaDudeAntraLeo4Pieces_0f_Me__idiosityemeraldjade33keyblur_justinblushrts123456__
    CynicalLongkathoops_DaddyThat_Damn_Duck
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    My inner brat needs a good spanking.

    • 519
    • FAVS
    TheTrueDocLoveKatarinaKriz_Balls_Of_FuryAGreaterMonsterfreedom2726iDanceesuedechukkaerinberrypie
    • 169
    • RETWEETS
    TheTrueDocLoveFunnyTunesBluie_Amethyst_Balls_Of_FuryKZGAL1AGreaterMonsterrage_chaosMonaJean30
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    The moment some bacon fell out of my mouth and landed on my boob, as I lie here on the couch reading Twitter, I realized my true sexiness.

    • 545
    • FAVS
    sweetg35TheTrueDocLovecelestinelea90gizzydebbieAGreaterMonsterfreedom27261BamaDudekrishna_van
    • 138
    • RETWEETS
    TheTrueDocLoveAGreaterMonster1BamaDudekrishna_vanStarksWeek__gabemakesmusicTlaxBoy05EdJohnson2
    curlymalloy
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Me to 11yo:Quit playing your xbox so much. Son:OK, when you quit playing that phone game trying to get lots of followers." Touche, lil shit.

    • 499
    • FAVS
    sweetg35AngryPortlandTheTrueDocLoveKatarinaKrizAxenbane1BamaDudeOhgoddessitsmeLoesfantastico
    • 149
    • RETWEETS
    1BamaDudevidalsgStarksWeek__TlaxBoy05EdJohnson2legrant101JonnyKoolerCrazyIdiot6
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    In my perfect world, chips and queso would have no fat, calories or carbs, and margaritas would be weight loss supplements.

    • 440
    • FAVS
    sweetg35KatarinaKrizhrmyersailormoonie135OhgoddessitsmejordiahamiltonStarksWeek__Pee_And_Giggles
    • 175
    • RETWEETS
    littlemisspsunvivan13ashcay2000OhgoddessitsmeStarksWeek__TlaxBoy05RoechelleFoleyEdJohnson2
    lakeanagirlSoapyJohnsonErik_Allenmartianhaiku______fuckmylife2hell
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Son's observation: Mom, I've noticed every criminal either has hair or doesn't have hair.
    He's a genius, this one.

    • 495
    • FAVS
    sweetg35TheTrueDocLoveKatarinaKrizDrDweezilDebbieTuitama4SLarsOhgoddessitsmeLoesfantastico
    • 119
    • RETWEETS
    TheTrueDocLove1evilidiotiBLOOdyNONSENSEStarksWeek__TlaxBoy05EdJohnson2legrant101JonnyKooler
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Going grocery shopping with my kids is just one of the many special bonding moments that makes me want to fucking kill myself.

    • 467
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    sweetg35BlondAmbitionTOKatarinaKrizfreedom2726dianelcusslerTwoScoopsofpeaOhgoddessitsmevidalsg
    • 144
    • RETWEETS
    iBLOOdyNONSENSEvidalsgStarksWeek__TlaxBoy05legrant101MsMayumi2015JonnyKoolerdavid_tull
    A_SmartAss
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I'm all for eating apples, but I really think an orgasm a day is much more health conscious.

    • 412
    • FAVS
    sweetg35TheTrueDocLoveKatarinaKrizsailormoonie135Dannigurl45OhgoddessitsmeJulieSnarkStarksWeek__
    • 169
    • RETWEETS
    iBLOOdyNONSENSEOhgoddessitsmeStarksWeek__TlaxBoy05legrant101kikdbakbitchviolet_heartinselkna
    le_don_juan__
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Guys, if you're cheating and we don't say anything, we're either gathering evidence, or we're glad someone else is keeping you occupied.

    • 399
    • FAVS
    sweetg35KatarinaKrizhirojesusColinBevis1dogpile1and2KYGingerervin_toddfreecitysounds
    • 154
    • RETWEETS
    TheTrueDocLoveSinghSaabIsBackhirojesusdogpile1and2iBLOOdyNONSENSElifessubatomicjustwanttobeme3KellyHint
    wesjohnson8JackieluvsUK
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Dear 22 year old me: just wait, Bitch, it gets sooooo much better.
    Love, older, wiser and sexier me.

    • 433
    • FAVS
    sweetg35TheTrueDocLoveKatarinaKrizfreedom2726Ohgoddessitsmejamisondg1StarksWeek__Pee_And_Giggles
    • 118
    • RETWEETS
    iBLOOdyNONSENSEStarksWeek__TlaxBoy05legrant101rupal_87__beauty_killakayTheCrumbDiaryNotReallyNo_
    curlymalloy
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I have no time or patience for games in my relationships.

    Unless by "games" you're referring to naked Twister. I can make time for that.

    • 375
    • FAVS
    sweetg35TheTrueDocLoveKatarinaKrizfreedom2726bwcraftjrLilsweetpea17Ohgoddessitsmejamisondg1
    • 165
    • RETWEETS
    freedom2726iBLOOdyNONSENSEJessimica87Lilsweetpea17OhgoddessitsmeiiHNSStarksWeek__TlaxBoy05
    _vacant___________A_SmartAss
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Sometimes it takes only a moment of clarity to align your heart and head, to see through the disillusion, and adjust your path to truth.

    • 310
    • FAVS
    Sailsman777sweetg35BlondAmbitionTOTheTrueDocLoveKatarinaKrizLilsweetpea17Iuneaurboo_boo_01
    • 173
    • RETWEETS
    sweetg35littlemisspsuniBLOOdyNONSENSELilsweetpea17JacstarDocA_Bike_GuyStarksWeek__harnessdhashtag
    silent_musings
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I love when I cross that line between lightly buzzed and just beautifully drunk. Heavenly.

    • 339
    • FAVS
    BlondAmbitionTOTheTrueDocLoveKatarinaKrizjustwanttobeme3KatedumplingsStarksWeek__shannon2703adtyarathi
    • 108
    • RETWEETS
    littlemisspsuniBLOOdyNONSENSEjustwanttobeme3Na007sITuoheyStarksWeek__Adriana_Stouder__PussycatPlace
    Southernboy_420curlymalloy
@Samigrl2

@Samigrl2

What in the hell am I supposed to write here?