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  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    The problem with marriage is that it was invented when people lived to the ripe old age of 30.

    • 1,974
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    GreeblehausNutellaVnowarrantyRobbi123VodkaTiemLiquid_MethaneLackOfShamenefariousPeterD
    • 1,179
    • RETWEETS
    VodkaTiemWhitehawkJokerLiquid_MethaneLackOfShameJedi_DaddyDr_powpowtravia67anerdonfire
    Pineapple_Cake_ToxicProbablyArrowsOfTheSunThrill_Tweeterhaze103Nope_ishlife_suckerphxguy881HappytwitMyLoveGoesDown____uMakeMeBadle_don_juan__ElifcelloBonerfiedtwit
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    "Do what you love & the money will follow."

    Ate some pizza, harassed a telemarketer, & took a 6 hr nap in my underwear.

    And now, I wait...

    • 1,533
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    Niall_GaffWhite_Trash218_theryantist__DontTouchMyWineEyonBInnocent_PrickNutellaVanglesnachez
    • 1,018
    • RETWEETS
    Smith2RobNiall_Gaff_theryantist__DontTouchMyWineEyonBInnocent_Prickjazzjavajoy_jorn
    lucyworld1Tuna_LoverK0VIE1800Randy
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Yeah, I really don't think this whole "responsible adult" thing is gonna work out.

    • 902
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    hoopahoepselknaTJtweet10DontTouchMyWineItsAllCrazyToMeNutellaVVodkaTiemnefariousPeterD
    • 503
    • RETWEETS
    selknaDownFrontArtist1evilidiotDontTouchMyWineirishd247NutellaVVodkaTiemJedi_Daddy
    curlymalloyNicholey23
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I wish that voice in my head that told me not to do stupid things was actually in charge.

    • 706
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    Scott_A_Gilmoretherealme4102NutellaVCubicalRonVodkaTiemnefariousPeterDJedi_DaddyJohnnyBeGoooddd
    • 367
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_GilmoreNutellaVCubicalRonVodkaTiemnefariousPeterDJedi_DaddyDr_powpowliv_ec_atk
    junkyardiganNotthatAdamWestktoab____________
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Even if it hurts like hell, I'd rather hear the truth than be smothered by silence and lies.

    • 713
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    Scott_A_GilmoreNutellaVCubicalRonRobbi123VodkaTiemnefariousPeterDfollowme4rtidiosity
    • 349
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_GilmoreNutellaVCubicalRonVodkaTiemnefariousPeterDEnglanddaisyJedi_DaddyDr_powpow
    GreeneyedMofo_Shades_of_JADEblaque_jaque______nativerogue
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    So hubs will only let me buy boxed wine now, which is super economical because I'm saving the cardboard for his new house under the bridge.

    • 710
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    Scott_A_Gilmore1DrunkUnclebigpapa_1969Ms_XtinaDontTouchMyWineNutellaVCubicalRonRobbi123
    • 259
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_Gilmore1DrunkUncleDownFrontArtistDontTouchMyWineCubicalRonVodkaTiemLackOfShamenefariousPeterD
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    You call it procrastination. I call it ingenious avoidance.

    Either way, lets talk about it later.

    • 606
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    buttershotScott_A_GilmoreTJtweet10DontTouchMyWineNutellaVVodkaTiemLackOfShamehook8669
    • 332
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_GilmoreSmith2RobmattmerkDontTouchMyWineVodkaTiemlilsislynneLackOfShamehook8669
    JizzIam__________
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I don't want to fix or change your tortured soul. I only want to wait out the storm with you, & take your hand when the sun comes out again.

    • 482
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    Scott_A_Gilmorebrknhrted1schumyxxxGingerGanderDash_of_Crazyryan_rachryan80therealme4102DontTouchMyWine
    • 242
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_Gilmorebrknhrted1Dash_of_Crazyryan_rachryan80VodkaTiemnefariousPeterDJedi_DaddyDr_powpow
    therealme4102CynicalLongkathoops_DaddyThat_Damn_Duck
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    My inner brat needs a good spanking.

    • 529
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    Scott_A_GilmoreNutellaVRobbi123VodkaTiemnefariousPeterDJedi_DaddyDr_powpowIzzyIlluminates
    • 176
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_GilmoreVodkaTiemJedi_DaddyDr_powpowkcmoore51Monie_annesuedechukkaTheTrueDocLove
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    The moment some bacon fell out of my mouth and landed on my boob, as I lie here on the couch reading Twitter, I realized my true sexiness.

    • 550
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    Scott_A_GilmoreNutellaVnefariousPeterDDr_powpowsuedechukkasweetg35TheTrueDocLovecelestinelea90
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    Scott_A_GilmorenefariousPeterDJedi_DaddyDr_powpowTheTrueDocLoveAGreaterMonster1BamaDudekrishna_van
    curlymalloy
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Me to 11yo:Quit playing your xbox so much. Son:OK, when you quit playing that phone game trying to get lots of followers." Touche, lil shit.

    • 508
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    Scott_A_GilmoreNutellaVcal_francisMiddleageMJLO_BitchCraftJedi_DaddyOrignalceQueenDr_powpow
    • 157
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_Gilmorecal_francisMiddleageMJLO_BitchCraftpol_e_wogJedi_DaddyOrignalceQueenDr_powpow
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    In my perfect world, chips and queso would have no fat, calories or carbs, and margaritas would be weight loss supplements.

    • 445
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    JHM05Scott_A_GilmoreNutellaVDr_powpowBlondAmbitionTOsweetg35KatarinaKrizhrmyer
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    1evilidiotScott_A_GilmoreDr_powpowlittlemisspsunvivan13ashcay2000OhgoddessitsmeStarksWeek__
    lakeanagirlSoapyJohnsonErik_Allenmartianhaiku______fuckmylife2hell
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Son's observation: Mom, I've noticed every criminal either has hair or doesn't have hair.
    He's a genius, this one.

    • 499
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    Scott_A_GilmoreNutellaVnefariousPeterDDr_powpowsweetg35TheTrueDocLoveKatarinaKrizDrDweezil
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    Scott_A_GilmorenefariousPeterDDr_powpowTheTrueDocLove1evilidiotiBLOOdyNONSENSEStarksWeek__TlaxBoy05
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Going grocery shopping with my kids is just one of the many special bonding moments that makes me want to fucking kill myself.

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    Scott_A_GilmoreNutellaVnefariousPeterDOrignalceQueenDr_powpowsweetg35BlondAmbitionTOKatarinaKriz
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    Scott_A_GilmorearcherenemyJedi_DaddyDr_powpowiBLOOdyNONSENSEvidalsgStarksWeek__TlaxBoy05
    A_SmartAss
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I'm all for eating apples, but I really think an orgasm a day is much more health conscious.

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    Scott_A_GilmoreNutellaVnefariousPeterDidiosityJedi_DaddyOrignalceQueenDr_powpowBlondAmbitionTO
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    Scott_A_GilmorenefariousPeterDarcherenemyJedi_DaddyOrignalceQueenDr_powpowiBLOOdyNONSENSEOhgoddessitsme
    le_don_juan__
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Guys, if you're cheating and we don't say anything, we're either gathering evidence, or we're glad someone else is keeping you occupied.

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    cecilia_duarteScott_A_GilmoreNutellaVTheAlexNevilpropagarebeskrajanAmiigatDr_powpow
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    Scott_A_GilmoreTheAlexNevilpropagarebeskrajanAmiigatDr_powpowsucker_punchBlondAmbitionTO
    wesjohnson8JackieluvsUK
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Dear 22 year old me: just wait, Bitch, it gets sooooo much better.
    Love, older, wiser and sexier me.

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    scottdedaluscecilia_duartexenakix2243Scott_A_GilmoreNutellaVVodkaTiemDr_powpowBlondAmbitionTO
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    luostlerxenakix2243Scott_A_GilmoreVodkaTiemDr_powpowiBLOOdyNONSENSEStarksWeek__TlaxBoy05
    curlymalloy
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I have no time or patience for games in my relationships.

    Unless by "games" you're referring to naked Twister. I can make time for that.

    • 382
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    Scott_A_GilmoreCtchandler247NutellaVnefariousPeterDJedi_DaddyDr_powpowBlondAmbitionTOsweetg35
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    Scott_A_GilmoreNutellaVnefariousPeterDJedi_DaddyDr_powpowfreedom2726iBLOOdyNONSENSEJessimica87
    _vacant___________A_SmartAss
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Sometimes it takes only a moment of clarity to align your heart and head, to see through the disillusion, and adjust your path to truth.

    • 318
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    cecilia_duarteScott_A_GilmoreNutellaVvalzhogankwilson922Dr_powpowBunnyFrostygadgetgreen
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    Scott_A_Gilmorekwilson922Jedi_DaddyDr_powpowgadgetgreenBlondAmbitionTOsweetg35littlemisspsun
    silent_musings
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I love when I cross that line between lightly buzzed and just beautifully drunk. Heavenly.

    • 343
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    Scott_A_GilmoreDontTouchMyWineNutellaVDr_powpowBlondAmbitionTOTheTrueDocLoveKatarinaKrizjustwanttobeme3
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    Scott_A_GilmoreDontTouchMyWineDr_powpowlittlemisspsuniBLOOdyNONSENSEjustwanttobeme3Na007sITuohey
    Southernboy_420curlymalloy
@Samigrl2

@Samigrl2
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What in the hell am I supposed to write here?

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