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  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    The problem with marriage is that it was invented when people lived to the ripe old age of 30.

    • 1,973
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    NutellaVnowarrantyRobbi123VodkaTiemLiquid_MethaneLackOfShamenefariousPeterDEnglanddaisy
    • 1,179
    • RETWEETS
    VodkaTiemWhitehawkJokerLiquid_MethaneLackOfShameJedi_DaddyDr_powpowtravia67anerdonfire
    Pineapple_Cake_ToxicProbablyArrowsOfTheSunThrill_Tweeterhaze103Nope_ishlife_suckerphxguy881HappytwitMyLoveGoesDown____uMakeMeBadle_don_juan__ElifcelloBonerfiedtwit
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    "Do what you love & the money will follow."

    Ate some pizza, harassed a telemarketer, & took a 6 hr nap in my underwear.

    And now, I wait...

    • 1,533
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    Niall_GaffWhite_Trash218_theryantistDontTouchMyWineEyonBInnocent_PrickNutellaVanglesnachez
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    • RETWEETS
    Smith2RobNiall_Gaff_theryantistDontTouchMyWineEyonBInnocent_Prickjazzjavajoy_jorn
    lucyworld1Tuna_LoverK0VIE1800Randy
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Yeah, I really don't think this whole "responsible adult" thing is gonna work out.

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    TJtweet10DontTouchMyWineItsAllCrazyToMeNutellaVVodkaTiemnefariousPeterDDr_powpowtravia67
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    • RETWEETS
    DontTouchMyWineirishd247NutellaVVodkaTiemJedi_DaddyDr_powpowLike_Guinevereanerdonfire
    curlymalloyNicholey23
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I wish that voice in my head that told me not to do stupid things was actually in charge.

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    NutellaVCubicalRonVodkaTiemnefariousPeterDJedi_DaddyJohnnyBeGooodddDr_powpowtravia67
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    • RETWEETS
    NutellaVCubicalRonVodkaTiemnefariousPeterDJedi_DaddyDr_powpowliv_ec_atkohpeetie
    junkyardiganNotthatAdamWestktoab____________
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Even if it hurts like hell, I'd rather hear the truth than be smothered by silence and lies.

    • 712
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    NutellaVCubicalRonRobbi123VodkaTiemnefariousPeterDbluntretweetsidiosityEnglanddaisy
    • 348
    • RETWEETS
    NutellaVCubicalRonVodkaTiemnefariousPeterDEnglanddaisyJedi_DaddyDr_powpowIzzyIlluminates
    GreeneyedMofo___Shaded_JADEblaque_jaque______nativerogue
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    So hubs will only let me buy boxed wine now, which is super economical because I'm saving the cardboard for his new house under the bridge.

    • 709
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    1DrunkUnclebigpapa_1969Ms_XtinaDontTouchMyWineNutellaVCubicalRonRobbi123VodkaTiem
    • 258
    • RETWEETS
    1DrunkUncleDownFrontArtistDontTouchMyWineCubicalRonVodkaTiemLackOfShamenefariousPeterDJLO_BitchCraft
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    You call it procrastination. I call it ingenious avoidance.

    Either way, lets talk about it later.

    • 604
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    TJtweet10DontTouchMyWineNutellaVVodkaTiemLackOfShamehook8669nefariousPeterDJLO_BitchCraft
    • 331
    • RETWEETS
    Smith2RobmattmerkDontTouchMyWineVodkaTiemlilsislynneLackOfShamehook8669nefariousPeterD
    JizzIam__________
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I don't want to fix or change your tortured soul. I only want to wait out the storm with you, & take your hand when the sun comes out again.

    • 475
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    DontTouchMyWineNutellaVimabbylouiseVodkaTiemnefariousPeterDJedi_DaddyDr_powpowkcmoore51
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    • RETWEETS
    VodkaTiemnefariousPeterDJedi_DaddyDr_powpowkcmoore51TheTrueDocLove1BamaDudeAntraLeo4
    CynicalLongkathoops_DaddyThat_Damn_Duck
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    My inner brat needs a good spanking.

    • 528
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    NutellaVRobbi123VodkaTiemnefariousPeterDJedi_DaddyDr_powpowIzzyIlluminateskcmoore51
    • 175
    • RETWEETS
    VodkaTiemJedi_DaddyDr_powpowkcmoore51Monie_annesuedechukkaTheTrueDocLoveFunnyTunes
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    The moment some bacon fell out of my mouth and landed on my boob, as I lie here on the couch reading Twitter, I realized my true sexiness.

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    NutellaVnefariousPeterDDr_powpowsuedechukkasweetg35TheTrueDocLovecelestinelea90gizzydebbie
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    nefariousPeterDJedi_DaddyDr_powpowTheTrueDocLoveAGreaterMonster1BamaDudekrishna_vanStarksWeek__
    curlymalloy
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Me to 11yo:Quit playing your xbox so much. Son:OK, when you quit playing that phone game trying to get lots of followers." Touche, lil shit.

    • 507
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    NutellaVcal_francisMiddleageMJLO_BitchCraftJedi_DaddyOrignalceQueenDr_powpowBlondAmbitionTO
    • 156
    • RETWEETS
    cal_francisMiddleageMJLO_BitchCraftpol_e_wogJedi_DaddyOrignalceQueenDr_powpow1BamaDude
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    In my perfect world, chips and queso would have no fat, calories or carbs, and margaritas would be weight loss supplements.

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    NutellaVDr_powpowBlondAmbitionTOsweetg35KatarinaKrizhrmyersailormoonie135Ohgoddessitsme
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    Dr_powpowlittlemisspsunvivan13ashcay2000OhgoddessitsmeStarksWeek__TlaxBoy05RoechelleFoley
    lakeanagirlSoapyJohnsonErik_Allenmartianhaiku______fuckmylife2hell
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Son's observation: Mom, I've noticed every criminal either has hair or doesn't have hair.
    He's a genius, this one.

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    NutellaVnefariousPeterDDr_powpowsweetg35TheTrueDocLoveKatarinaKrizDrDweezilDebbieTuitama
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  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Going grocery shopping with my kids is just one of the many special bonding moments that makes me want to fucking kill myself.

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    NutellaVnefariousPeterDOrignalceQueenDr_powpowsweetg35BlondAmbitionTOKatarinaKrizfreedom2726
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    archerenemyJedi_DaddyDr_powpowiBLOOdyNONSENSEvidalsgStarksWeek__TlaxBoy05legrant101
    A_SmartAss
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I'm all for eating apples, but I really think an orgasm a day is much more health conscious.

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    NutellaVnefariousPeterDidiosityJedi_DaddyOrignalceQueenDr_powpowBlondAmbitionTOsweetg35
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    le_don_juan__
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Guys, if you're cheating and we don't say anything, we're either gathering evidence, or we're glad someone else is keeping you occupied.

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    NutellaVTheAlexNevilpropagarebeskrajanAmiigatDr_powpowDeurb1kansaswagg
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    wesjohnson8JackieluvsUK
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Dear 22 year old me: just wait, Bitch, it gets sooooo much better.
    Love, older, wiser and sexier me.

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    NutellaVVodkaTiemDr_powpowBlondAmbitionTOsweetg35TheTrueDocLoveKatarinaKrizfreedom2726
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    curlymalloy
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I have no time or patience for games in my relationships.

    Unless by "games" you're referring to naked Twister. I can make time for that.

    • 381
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    Ctchandler247NutellaVnefariousPeterDJedi_DaddyDr_powpowBlondAmbitionTOsweetg35TheTrueDocLove
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    NutellaVnefariousPeterDJedi_DaddyDr_powpowfreedom2726iBLOOdyNONSENSEJessimica87Lilsweetpea17
    _vacant___________A_SmartAss
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    Sometimes it takes only a moment of clarity to align your heart and head, to see through the disillusion, and adjust your path to truth.

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    NutellaVvalzhogankwilson922Dr_powpowLeahThePoohgadgetgreenSailsman777sweetg35
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    kwilson922Jedi_DaddyDr_powpowgadgetgreenBlondAmbitionTOsweetg35littlemisspsuniBLOOdyNONSENSE
    silent_musings
  • Samigrl2
      Sami @Samigrl2

    I love when I cross that line between lightly buzzed and just beautifully drunk. Heavenly.

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    DontTouchMyWineNutellaVDr_powpowBlondAmbitionTOTheTrueDocLoveKatarinaKrizjustwanttobeme3Katedumplings
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    Southernboy_420curlymalloy
@Samigrl2

@Samigrl2
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What in the hell am I supposed to write here?

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