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Coffee delivery needs to be a thing because I refuse to put pants on.
Keep your friends close, and never date them.
tan lines are the sexiest summer clothes.
oh, good to know. netflix, instagram & pinterest are all on the same amazon cloud. #lulz #cloudzdown #fridaynight
Boobs, man. Can't live with em, can't live without em.
&&&&&&& SHE'S SO HAAAIIIIIIIEEEEIIIAHHHHHHHHAH, HIGH ABOVE ME! like cleopatra, joan of arc, or Aphrodite. #np
"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars / But in ourselves."
"Sunday is gonna be awesome because I fucking said so!" - the iced coffee in my fridge.
My cat better have a damn good gift for me. #happymothersday
remember that one time i sent you a photo of my bewbs? LOLOLOL.
"do you ever fear you've become the worst version of yourself? - #youvegotmail
MEG RYAN AND TOM HANKS FOR LIFE!
when ppl from HS ask if i'm doing well, i think they're only curious if i've: gotten married or had a kid. NOPE & NOPE! #doingsogood
"phx" is short for "people fucking good shit up"
There's gotta be a special place in hell for people who try to clap to the beat but end up massacring it. #ugh #stopthatshit
Stepped on velcro, but like any rational person I immediately thought "OMG AM I STANDING ON A CACTUS?!!"
obsessed with loving & hugging everyone. super nanny and coffee embracer by day, beer guzzler and eccentric spirit by night. she flies with her own wings