Slovakia has no chance in the Olympics against Fastvakia.

If the Tea Party was about bad government it would've arisen during the Bush administration. Its actually about ignorance & bigotry.

Shouldn't we try diplomacy BEFORE we bomb the moon?

I have to admit that while I get better weather info on my iPhone, the weather women on tv have better tits.

Playing doctor is so last century. Today's kids play TSA agent.

Giving 10% of your income to the Mormon church isn’t charity. The LDS church uses that $$ to fight gay marriage in California. #MittRomney

After the "rapture" let's play along & pretend we can't see our righteous friends.

I have a suggestion for all those who oppose abortion, don't have one.

Learning to fly is easy, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

What I need is a diet where you lose weight by tweeting lame jokes & inane comments.

Don't tell me how much you love the USA while you block job bills, purge Americans from voter rolls & keep minorities from voting. #GOPlies

Having Newt Gingrich defend marriage is like Jack The Ripper defending prostitutes.

.@flgovscott You're an embarrassment to Florida. Do one decent thing as governor & extend early voting. #fraudsterinchief #liar #cheat

We've had 3D movies for years, its called theater.

.@mittromney has always been an arrogant asshole. He thought he was entitled to the presidency & now he's acting like a petulant child.

Slut: A woman with the morals of a man. (Via the internets.)

After Moonshiners I fully expect @discovery to come out with a show called Meth Labbers.

We had class warfare in the USA. The rich won.

Obama could've been born in Times Square, in front of Jesus, Mary & a choir of angels & TeaBaggers still wouldn't believe it.

The GOP wants to make the government small enough so it can fit inside every American woman's uterus.