@santhonythomas' (S. Anthony Thomas) most faved Tweets...
They're thinking of taxing plastic surgery. I thought people would be upset about it but I guess not, they were all expressionless. Oh.
I finally figured out what flies and mosquitoes are for. They're gods way of making us slap ourselves.
If you are a man and you went to see New Moon, there is a 90% chance that you got your lunch taken at school. Let's get real, 100%.
Just heard two teenage girls fighting over which boyfriends electronic ankle bracelet was best. Is there anyway to speed up global warming?
Candles...Check, Romantic music...Check, Sexy wife...Check, Binoculars...Check, Popcorn...Check, Hiding Place...Check, Recorder...Check...
There's nothing like dating after 30...you can see the emotional scars on each other from 100 yards away...
I'm watching "Are you smarter than a 5th grader".....huh?...Oh, sorry, it's actually Fox (News?). Same thing right?
When playing darts, if you hit a guy exactly in the middle of his head...you should still get points right? EXACTLY IN THE MIDDLE...well?
I remember the good old days when parents used to look for magazines under the bed. Now they search for sticky hastily hidden flash drives.
Just saw Sarah Palin interview with Bill O'reilly. hahahahahahahahahaha...let me stop....hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Sorry. HAHAHAHAHA..
Sin tax? If they charge taxes for everything that's bad for us, my last girlfriend would have cost me more than a high priced call girl.
Breaking News! Much like with women, the guidelines for men have changed. No prostate exams unless you hear crunching when you sit down.
2012 will not be the end of the world, it will be a re-release of Earth, Wind & Fires' "Way of the World" Sorry for the confusion.
was gonna put razors in the candy that I give out on Halloween, but those ungrateful little punks only want iphones.
Edible panties are a waste of time. It's like having a delicious warm cupcake in front of you and wasting time licking the wrapper.
Tip: To have your favorites shown faster, follow @favstar