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i was worried my flatm8 would think badly of me 4 eating 3 eggs so when i heard her coming in i hid 1 so she would think i was only eating 2
GOLLY I FEEL ODD
when Mary Kate Olson was a kid she had a pony called Compact Disc
"Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it."
DON'T H8 ME COS U 8 ME oh wait no that's not it
WOAH JUST REALISED THAT OUR INSIDES MUST BE COMPLETELY BLACK WITH DARKNESS
eating bad pasta drinking bad wine wearing bad clothes doing bad makeup making bad dances dancing bad decisions
i just ate half a cucumber wat u gon do
be nice on the internet
twitter makes me hella horny
i always take the lid off my coffee before drinking it because (a) tastes like plastic (b) keeps it way too hot (c) tiny tiny hole is weird
selfies autocorrected to selfless
i could go for a bloody mary and a pizza
sometimes people seem worried that they don't "get" things i make but i'm like don't worry neither do i