"Racial discrimination was one of the ugliest parts of American history. [...] But discrimination is part of freedom." Fox News, everyone.

Only bro can judge me, God.

Mason jars: OUT. Tiny barrels of alcohol carried by St. Bernards: IN.

@rare_basement a masters in Library Science with an emphasis on Box of Porn in the Woods

you say sweat stain, I say DIY armpit ombre #pinterest

Hey, I just met you / and this is Jay-Z / I L L U M I N A T I / ▵ ▵ ▵ ▵ ▵

A good name for a socially conscious gangster rapper would be Trigger Warning.

don't even talk to me if you're not Kevin Spacey breaking the fourth wall

You arrive in hell. It's an Intelligentsia. "This isn't bad," you say, but then a barista explains the meaning of his tattoos for eternity.

This is going to break the Pinterest servers http://t.co/K5YpqfcP

"I contain multidudes" - Walt Whitman stating the obvious while filming a gangbang scene for Leaves of Ass VI

OH MY GOD. Trying to keep cool about this, but I just found some Thomas the Tank Engine fanfiction about Nazi Germany.

bros getting stoked about fall and buying pumpkin spice Muscle Milk

"Put a zombie on it!" - Hollywood

The darkest moment in life is when a laptop dies and the black screen reflects your slackjaw computer face.

[Puts on glasses. Waits a minute for transition lenses to darken.] Sup?

The third act twist of the Internet is that we're all our own haters.

[Liam Neeson snaps the neck of 3rd to last human alive] "You're safe now, daughter." [spins chair - daughter is a skeleton] #Hollywood #$$$

"I'm the lead singer of Fun." [face is ripped away to reveal a Scion which turns into a smartphone which tweets "#WeAreYoung"]

je ne sais QWOP