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It's 10 kinds of fucked up that a 24-hour CVS doesn't have melatonin in stock.
"Racial discrimination was one of the ugliest parts of American history. [...] But discrimination is part of freedom." Fox News, everyone.
Only bro can judge me, God.
Mason jars: OUT. Tiny barrels of alcohol carried by St. Bernards: IN.
you say sweat stain, I say DIY armpit ombre #pinterest
Hey, I just met you / and this is Jay-Z / I L L U M I N A T I / ▵ ▵ ▵ ▵ ▵
A good name for a socially conscious gangster rapper would be Trigger Warning.
SELFIE CULTURE MUST DIE
don't even talk to me if you're not Kevin Spacey breaking the fourth wall
You arrive in hell. It's an Intelligentsia. "This isn't bad," you say, but then a barista explains the meaning of his tattoos for eternity.
"I contain multidudes" - Walt Whitman stating the obvious while filming a gangbang scene for Leaves of Ass VI
OH MY GOD. Trying to keep cool about this, but I just found some Thomas the Tank Engine fanfiction about Nazi Germany.
bros getting stoked about fall and buying pumpkin spice Muscle Milk
"Put a zombie on it!" - Hollywood
The darkest moment in life is when a laptop dies and the black screen reflects your slackjaw computer face.