Happy holocaust of the Native American people day!

When a nice guy is nice it's like who cares but when an asshole is nice it's like "Awwww!!"

Dear people who Retweet the compliments you get: why do you do that?

Jesus would be bummed about the Vatican being all filled w riches that could feed the world (but doesn't)

If u think high waisted pants look good ur high and wasted

"I hate drama" = I love drama

I truly believe that the Torah, the Bible & the Koran are some of the best fan fiction out there.

One thing that's really fun to make when you're really fucked up is big decisions

Go ahead & masturbate, THEN see if you still wanna call your ex at 1am

Call clowns what they really are- smiling murderers

Guy just described what getting kicked in the balls feels like& it's exactly what cramps feel like #youpussies

Don't tell kids "girls can be anything!" They wouldn't have thought otherwise- just raise them strong, dummy

If you feel like everyone is judging you, congratulations! You're an alcoholic

RT @gerryduggan If your religion is worth killing for, start with yourself.

Money is a drug. This country is being controlled & destroyed by drug addicts.

Dear GOPs,
In what way does gay marriage hurt ur life & how will taking that right away make it better?
thanks in adv.
s

To those who feel they deserve more rights than others, I say: 'Let Them eat cock'
#MarriageEquality

If you're drunk & throw up on a guy's penis you can save the moment if u can muster a "ta-da!"

Adele's taught us that u don't have to be skinny to be a music star- u just have to be the most beautiful woman in the world ever

Let's get into the Christmas Spirit & lie about how we got pregnant.