Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
How can I make it clear to a co-worker that if I can see the outline of his penis I do not want to have a conversation with him?
Made it to Florida! Smells like a tanning salon up in this bitch.
Can't wait to pull this Crest white strip off so I can start in on this bottle of cabernet.
I ate an entire sleeve of Fig Newtons today. No big whoop.
New years resolution is to stop dressing like a lesbian to work. That means four more days of comfy corduroys and ill-fitting cardigans.
"I hope this doesn't offend you but every time I burp I say 'I'm Sarah VanDenBerg' after" - something someone just said to me
New kid at work made a comment about my ass.. then tried apologizing later. Looks like someone has a new work bitch.
I know I'm getting close to Miami because I can hear "the thong song" getting louder.
An older gent at the DMV told me I was pretty and gave me his card. Wants me to let him know if I'm ever interested in building a log home.
OMG, ponytail guy is at the bar. I wonder if he's wearing a wolf shirt!
I think I'm going to move to Oregon because they have lots of tater tots and I like those.
Jimmy Choo should come out with an athletic sneaker and call them "Gymmy Shoes".