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I will vote for any candidate who promises to outlaw cash bar weddings.
I feel bad for every husband on House Hunters because you can change paint color but your stuck with your wife's shitty personality
"Yeah no wonder you're handicapped" -me, every time I see a car with a handicapped sticker being driven poorly
I just woke up. Even I hate me right now.
Kids SUCK you will take the free candy I am giving out, grabbyhands, only after I hear "trick or treat" like how is that so hard?
Can we talk about how aggravated I am that Jeopardy isn't on twice a day anymore.
Ruh roh, Bettendorf football coaches got sat right next to Argo's appreciation keg. More deats on how the rivalry will handle this to come.
These earbuds are so you won't talk to me.