Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Is it really a pub crawl if you're still able to walk?
I really want someone who gets me but I'll settle for someone who has already had me.
Sorry, but your pokey was pretty hokey.
I blew a gasket on my mood ring.
It's funny how movie stars have famous kids, yet, there's no Gabe Ruth or Morris Kasparov.
I tried texting on Google Glasses and poked myself in the eye.
Thing outside of the box.
I once hooked up in a kayak. It was very rowmantic.
5 out of 5 dentists recommend not playing ice hockey.
I walked past an after-work party at a construction site and I thought it was a Village People concert.
Why are there no romantic horror movies? Because that would be more like real life.
Should scotch be free? Yes: 100%; No: 0%
I go to yoga for the pants.
Yeah, sure, but have you ever PUSHED a groin muscle?
The league that pumps players full of steroids and faces them off in mortal combat is deeply disappointed by recent violent outbreaks.
Wounded sheep: Who hurt ewe?
I took some antibionics and now I'm no longer the Six Million Dollar Man.
I let my mouth do the talking.