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  • sarcazm2
      sarcazm2 @sarcazm2

    It's so cute how they call them "suspects" in the newspaper and TV when when everybody knows that they're guilty.

    • 1
    • FAV
    kimwilliamz
  • sarcazm2
      sarcazm2 @sarcazm2

    Why are there no romantic horror movies? Because that would be more like real life.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    niccdjessicalacieJDoody523kimwilliamzJustCallMeFrank
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    jessicalaciekimwilliamz
  • sarcazm2
      sarcazm2 @sarcazm2

    Should scotch be free? Yes: 100%; No: 0%

    • 4
    • FAVS
    JustCallMeFrankmybigblondelifeLetsFavRickNothing
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    LetsFav
  • sarcazm2
      sarcazm2 @sarcazm2

    I go to yoga for the pants.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    professor_eksbeg_danishYogaRedditxJLynnmyersscotteLetsFav
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    beg_danishxJLynnLetsFav
  • sarcazm2
      sarcazm2 @sarcazm2

    Yeah, sure, but have you ever PUSHED a groin muscle?

    • 6
    • FAVS
    For_Fuck_Sakesbeg_danishveronaway2blondediva11LetsFavBetterOffJen
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    beg_danishLetsFav
  • sarcazm2
      sarcazm2 @sarcazm2

    "Friday and I'm still married ..." ~The Cure, now, probably.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    professor_eksAgataHoszLetsFavinScytheful
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    xJLynn
  • sarcazm2
      sarcazm2 @sarcazm2

    The league that pumps players full of steroids and faces them off in mortal combat is deeply disappointed by recent violent outbreaks.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    KatMByrnerush_whatmadelynarellanoVocalicPageAnabolicTweetsthtchicmichelleAB0VETheLineAvatar_unknown_48
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    SheisEstrogenDon_NielsakaDesiniqueFoxholePrayersturnagebmaryroy26AB0VETheLineamymwolfe
  • sarcazm2
      sarcazm2 @sarcazm2

    Wounded sheep: Who hurt ewe?

    • 2
    • FAVS
    xJLynnAvatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    whitehawk_67
  • sarcazm2
      sarcazm2 @sarcazm2

    I took some antibionics and now I'm no longer the Six Million Dollar Man.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    xJLynnwhitehawk_67
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    whitehawk_67
  • sarcazm2
      sarcazm2 @sarcazm2

    I let my mouth do the talking.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    professor_eksxJLynnHeyZeus666bee__stingKeys_ToMethisisriehlryanLetsFav
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    xJLynnKeys_ToMe
  • sarcazm2
      sarcazm2 @sarcazm2

    I don't see a variable for blood-alcohol-content anywhere in the theory of relativity.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    xJLynnorbislameladyjazsjunkJustCallMeFrankStu_Monster
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    xJLynnladyjazsjunkJustCallMeFrank
  • sarcazm2
      sarcazm2 @sarcazm2

    If we got rid of guns I bet there would be a National Fist Association.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    professor_eksxJLynnHeyZeus666whitehawk_67slyoung5thisisriehlryandomesticHLetsFav
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    xJLynnwhitehawk_67thisisriehlryan
  • sarcazm2
      sarcazm2 @sarcazm2

    What is dating like for people who work the graveyard shift? Do they go out for pancakes and orange juice, then go home and have sex?

    • 9
    • FAVS
    HeyZeus666whitehawk_67ZOOshhiladyjazsjunkLetsFavSuMacDanslyoung5kimwilliamz
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    whitehawk_67ZOOshhiLetsFav
  • sarcazm2
      sarcazm2 @sarcazm2

    The taller iPhone 6+ promises to take giraffe photography to the next level.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    whitehawk_67tbhyolo15PORNOPINION
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    whitehawk_67
  • sarcazm2
      sarcazm2 @sarcazm2

    As a voter, I can't decide if I'm probiotic or antibiotic.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    xJLynnHeyZeus666whitehawk_67Boleyngirlytwist_tongueCanadianCynKeys_ToMeMythicPicnic
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    whitehawk_67Keys_ToMe
  • sarcazm2
      sarcazm2 @sarcazm2

    I'm sure the new iPhone is going to be totally different and have robot arms and do teleportation and stuff.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    LetsFavBoleyngirlyCanadianCynKidcrashed
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    tanae210
  • sarcazm2
      sarcazm2 @sarcazm2

    Remember, if you date that guy you met at the wine and cheese event, you'll be the one killing the spiders in the apartment.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    professor_eksxJLynnshuturtrapveronaway2La_mardeeAvatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    xJLynn
  • sarcazm2
      sarcazm2 @sarcazm2

    Do people who work the graveyard shift have one-day stands?

    • 5
    • FAVS
    HeyZeus666whitehawk_67LetsFavslyoung5velweb
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    whitehawk_67velweb
  • sarcazm2
      sarcazm2 @sarcazm2

    Why is there not a holiday, three months after your birthday, to celebrate your dad hooking up with your mom?

    • 2
    • FAVS
    whitehawk_67LetsFav
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    whitehawk_67Ironicfacts101
  • sarcazm2
      sarcazm2 @sarcazm2

    I'll have a duodecuple espresso, please.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    LetsFavkayleeebomb
@sarcazm2

@sarcazm2

My jokes will be here, all weak.