Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Ask your neurologist if left is right for you.
Next Saturday night at 2am, let's set our clocks back to the good old days.
"I got 99 problems." ~Maxwell Smart.
If you're having a mid-life crisis at 13, you can pretty much count on being a rock star.
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars ... I see what you did there.
If you don't know when you're going to die, how do you know when to have a mid-life crisis?
You had me at "lub dub, lub dub, lub dub ..."
"Keep scrolling, I got nothin'" ~How I sign my 1040 Form.
Yep, that's spit on your bacon.
I've been happily married for 24 hours! The wedding was in 2005.
If you're thinking about getting married, first check to see if you live in a communism property state.
When 50 becomes the new 20, grandparents will be arrested for underage drinking.
I want to call your flip phone from my rotary phone.
A Disney movie has personified every living thing on the planet except for bacteria and viruses. They're next.
When is an American clothing company going to sign a chess champion to promote their new line? Oh right, never.
Someone just told me that I look like I was lowered by wolves.
I'm teaching my kid to use an outsourced telemarketing service and offshore fulfillment house to move Girl Scout cookies.
I can't take your bra off without taking my shirt off.