Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I was inspired to become a Packers fan after seeing Clay Matthews endure various weather phenomena on his face in that commercial.
At the bar, I like to break the ice with the ladies by indicating that I have erectile function.
Battery-powered cigarettes are a gateway to 120-volt cigarettes.
As advertised, the new Mac OS has totally enhanced my productivity. I've written two novels, earned a PhD in Physics, and sired 3 children.
I wonder if the robot that gets my job in five years will put me on it's maintenance plan?
I wonder if the Amazon drones will get as much action as the UPS guys?
I got a really good deal on a 1D printer and now I have a lot of dental floss in case you need some.
I wonder who is the lowest paid individual to have a LinkedIn account?
I saved 100% on everything in the stores today by not leaving my house.
How big are yoga pants when they're not being worn?
I warm up for Black Friday by jumping into the mosh pit at a Flogging Molly concert.
When retailers finally convince everyone to buy everything for everybody, every Christmas, all forms of scarcity will be eliminated.
That awkward moment in the restaurant when they bring you your sausage and you realize that you'd like to have it smoked.
This department store is playing Christmas 2014 music.
I like to live tweet all of my internet dates so that tomorrow night's date might have a better shot at it.
"You're more like a FILLER whale." ~Whale putdown.
Are you sure that this car is "certified pre-owned?" Are you sure you're not trying to slip me a new car?
What do you call it when one of Santa's little helpers takes a picture of himself?
The new mobile Twitter app captures and posts your tweet even when you're still just thinking about it.