Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Sit-down restaurants that bring out your food in less than five minutes: I'm onto you.
I have a Mastur's degree.
If you got married but it's been more than 7 years do you still have to report it on your online dating profile?
Mad Men and Californication season openers on the same night? Nice try, lunar eclipse.
1) Just over the fence; 2) lower deck; 3) upper deck; 4) parking lot; 5) steroids.
Ask your neurologist if left is right for you.
"I got 99 problems." ~Maxwell Smart.
If you're having a mid-life crisis at 13, you can pretty much count on being a rock star.
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars ... I see what you did there.
If you don't know when you're going to die, how do you know when to have a mid-life crisis?
"Keep scrolling, I got nothin'" ~How I sign my 1040 Form.
Yep, that's spit on your bacon.
I've been happily married for 24 hours! The wedding was in 2005.
If you're thinking about getting married, first check to see if you live in a communism property state.
I want to call your flip phone from my rotary phone.
A Disney movie has personified every living thing on the planet except for bacteria and viruses. They're next.
When is an American clothing company going to sign a chess champion to promote their new line? Oh right, never.
I'm teaching my kid to use an outsourced telemarketing service and offshore fulfillment house to move Girl Scout cookies.
I can't take your bra off without taking my shirt off.