http://t.co/MGEAECD2 Missing: sweet 4.5yo male Westie named "JD". Last seen 6pm on 10/22, on NW side of ... http://t.co/EEntlHlg

I'm willing to record a PSA about the dangers of wearing pants. Just putting it out there.

Strength isn't about how much you can handle before you break, it's about how much you can handle after you break.

Overanalyzing & overthinking per usual. Where is the wild me from 5 years ago that just acted instead of thinking?

http://t.co/MGEAECD2 Missing: sweet 4.5yo male Westie named "JD". Last seen 6pm on 10/22 on NW side of ... http://t.co/EEntlHlg

"I'm not a gyno, but I can tell a cunt when I see one"

http://t.co/MGEAECD2 Missing: sweet 4.5yo male Westie named "JD". Last seen 6pm on 10/22, on NW side of ... http://t.co/EEntlHlg

I generally avoid temptation, unless I can't resist it.

Love. My. Life. Even through its ups & downs. <3

I think I've had too much vodka.

OH: uhm, maybe put your nip out? Take one for the team? @lissa_bell #BeachBoozeDebauchery

Day drinking attire consists of short shorts, tiny tank tops and big hoop earrings. Trashy smashed chic? @lissa_bell #BeachBoozeDebauchery

OH: I've got hard nips. You want to see them? #BeachBoozeDebauchery

I have a bestie @lissa_bell, wind coming off the ocean, and vodka. This is the life. #BeachBoozeDebauchery

I would love to participate in "bike to work week", however I don't have a helmet. Or a bike.

Fuckin A.

You know you've been drinking when you see people & think "those are the shortest humans ever!" And it's cuz they are kids.

I'm not a player, I just crush a lot.

It is impossible to focus on work this afternoon since I booked vacation. #happydance #40days

If my sister shows up before 9am with my office furniture that was delivered to her house, I may karate chop her.