You're never too old to hide from people you know.

The economy is so bad a man in a van asked me for candy.

Perfected a new yoga pose called "still sleeping."

The lyrics to the Hokey Pokey sound like one of my failed attempts to get dressed.

After dropping something on the floor three times in a row I decide that's where it belongs.

Ran a 5cm tonight.

Most people seem to have more of a learning "slope."

If you don't get along with anyone, have you considered a career in customer service?

I don't judge people. I silently grade them.

Clear plastic bra straps: we can see you.

If you have a tattoo in a language you don't understand it says "moron."

If you really want people to leave you alone, carry around your laundry.

Ever think birds might be screaming not chirping?

Wish I knew how to yodel. It looks like fun and really seems to annoy people.

Nena, I got you a red balloon. The ninety-nine thing was bothering me.

Went on Ancestry dot com and found out I'm part human.

The early bird is annoying as hell.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words but what if it's a talking picture? Of WORDS?

If you'd didn't want me to tear down your Christmas decorations you should have moved.

Figured out how to convey "I want nothing to do with this situation" using only my eyes.