The only good saga involves lightsabers and X-Wings, not crushing candies.

I didn't know Westboro Baptist Church had a bakery? #amysbakingcompany

The Emperor approves. #amysbakingcompany pic.twitter.com/cGTBeRw503

Just sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent. Now he'll never have friends.

Old people would always poke me at weddings and say "you're next!"
So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

Roses are red
Violets are red
Everything is red
I see red
I see red
I see red

- Cyclops

If a 747 can carry the space shuttle, then I call bullshit on overweight luggage fees.

Many Bothans died to bring you this tweet.

Darth Punk

I'm dedicating the rest of my day to discover how to use the word "cunting" in sentences more often.

The best type of fetish is a Boba Fettish

When you say the word "poop" your mouth does the same motion as your butthole. The same can be said for the phrase "explosive diarrhea"

Naming a library after George W. Bush is like naming a weight loss centre after Augustus Gloop.

If you have a foot fetish and you see a girl wearing sandals, do you think she's kinda slutty?

If I've been shot to the heart and you're to blame, whether or not you give a love a bad name is the least of my worries.

Boston suspect captured. Osama Bin Laden retains world hide and seek title, quoted via medium "that amateur never worried me" #manhunt

Need someone found?
Our elite bounty hunters are standing by.
Call now.
Mandalore, because we care as much as you pay us too
#manhunt

Dear Boston,

We're waiting. Just pick up the phone. We can discuss cost after.

Yours, Mandalore.
#manhunt

This years new contender for hide and seek champion currently causing social media storm in #watertown