@scholvin's (John Scholvin) most faved Tweets...
Irritating classmate of kid #1 wants to sort/align everyone else's toys. I see a bright future in the compliance department for that one.
If she were my daughter, extradition would not be a concern for Mr. Polanski. Because he'd have been dead for about thirty years now.
14
Tough night. Kindergartner came home, spent all night talking about the proletariat seizing the means of production, five-year plans, etc.
14
Well, that does it. Your facebook status update has convinced me to abandon 43 years of politics and come over to your side. Well played.
11
Pro Tip: check the lights before spending two fucking hours stringing them up. I'll be face down next to the liquor cabinet if you need me.
11
I liked the web better when everything was in Times Roman 12pt and changing it required buying drinks for Marc Andreessen.
10
Someday we will look back on the Auto-Tune era and debate whether these Grammy winners should have asterisks in the record books.
10
Pro Bowl and Grammys are *both* on tomorrow! Last time I saw that much lame, masturbatory irrelevance in one place was my dorm room.
10
Kid 1, after he's told he can't watch TV right now: "You watch WAY more TV than me. How is that fair?"
Stone. Cold. Busted.
Stone. Cold. Busted.
8
No, lady, this haircut looks great. Thanks.
Assuming I want to go annex the Sudetenland this afternoon.
Assuming I want to go annex the Sudetenland this afternoon.
8
Why didn't my high school guidance counselor tell me that "making OK Go videos" was something I could do when I grow up? Bastard.
7
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