Jurassic Park Is Not the Best Place To Go Because We're Still Testing Everything But OK If You Insist #FullLengthMovieTitles

Some people feel pointing out that Chris Brown beats women becomes wearying. I always like to remind them that Chris Brown beats women.

LOL @ the squadron of incredulous Dawkinites commenting in this FeedBuzz article:  http://vrunt.info/feedbuzz/the-top-six-craziest-richarddawkins-tweets-of-2013-so-far/ … (Thank you @methadonna and @vrunt)

All the Toys-R-Us kids who didn't want to grow up in that commercial are grown up now. Some of them are probably dead.

Shout out to @kmart for keeping this tweet up for like 2.5 hrs after they acknowledged it was in bad taste lolwow:  http://twitpic.com/blzcbd 

.@chuckgrassley Literally every bit of that is untrue. You are a dumb old Toilet Man in Garbage Senate. You are bad. You smell like corn.

When I find out who's been stealing my edible underwear out of the fridge at work there will be hell to pay. Those are prescription.

#SecretMarioAreas Mario and Luigi debate the ending of Inception.

A rapper tear gassed a Swede pop act for deleting a CBS drama from a DVR. Yes it's true: Ma$e Maced Ace Of Base For Erasing Without A Trace.

Oh god, I didn't know what @pftompkins was on about until this cursory Google:  http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/596792432/forts-and-the-inbetween … What a cloying sack of murky hubris!

@robdelaney I never miss an opportunity to share this classic Blitzer video: http://t.co/JnJ2fBCc #SmartPeople

Uh--he was skinny, she was fat? /RT @nancygracehln Her little nephew could not have weighed over 40lbs - she weighs over 1,000lbs. Thoughts?

Shout out to "I Am Helping A Food Bank Feed A Family" being printed on my girlfriend's bag of sex toys.

He's making a list. He's checking it twice. He's checking it again. He can't stop checking it. People are attempting to wrestle it from him.

No @bushsbeans will pass my lips until @julieklausner gets to pet their nice doggie Duke! I will of course continue to eat all other foods

I feel a certain ethical responsibility to share @2tonbug's "Ghost Car" monologue song regularly, lest it be forgotten:  http://cooldate.tumblr.com/post/32414262362/ghost-car-by-2tonbug-presented-at-cool-date-2 …

There are no atheists in foxholes. No religious people, either. There are mainly foxes in there.

This guy literally died moments later, btw. // RT @ink2flashyy: Drunk af going 120 drifting corners #FuckIt YOLO

First of the #ActualMittRomneyQuotes to actually have value: http://t.co/m47OevCf - Thanks @robdelaney.

If you can spot the three errors on this man's truck decal, then you are not that man. pic.twitter.com/hcn7GrzNr2