My mom is hotter than me happy mother's day

Amanda PLEASE pic.twitter.com/N5PlxUTe95

The fury of the Illuminati will rain over us all pic.twitter.com/P03tkZE6

Try to rewatch Bey's halftime show, Shockwave crashes. BEYONCE YOUR FIERCE BROKE MY COMPUTER

What is my "laffy taffy" and how do I "shake it".

My 16 year old brother was an hour late for curfew and I bet he won't get in trouble cause he be ~ privileged~

Ladies night with my mom taught me that Traci is a magnet for hockey bros and NO ONE APPRECIATES 212 BUT ME

So far the highlight of my day has been learning that mozza prices are going down so pizza will get cheaper. #hallelujah

@blahblahblack pop some Vicodin to assert your dominance

Perfect topknot on the first try. Savour your little victories

OMG im preggo + engaged to kim jong un + i adopted 30 dogs + am moving to uganda + LOLJK APRIL FOOLS IM SO FUNNY TRICKED YOU

@blahblahblack ilu long time. We'll start with You Don't Know You're Beautiful and end with Little Things.

Instagram beckons the second coming of the Scene Queens

JESUS WE GET IT YOU'RE SETH MACFARLANE

If you promise to thank them in your acceptance speech, Sony Classics will buy your next Oscar.

My ovaries just exploded.

Who let Seth MacFarlane out of Fox's basement.

Remember the summer I wrote HP fan fiction and got a huge following.

Hello attractive bearded men here to fix our windows... pic.twitter.com/bAxKIOMs

St. Pattys is the best cause it doesn't try to hide the fact that as a holiday, it's only purpose is a reason to get drunk on a weekday.