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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    A week after Oscars & I'm still reading complaints by women offended by joke about their "innate ability to never let anything go."

    • 1,564
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    SteveDutzyrobert_weisbergBrandogramstheguydfHebrewbergJIMMY_DANGERLadyLeksdwraystp
    • 2,627
    • RETWEETS
    TheJaseofSpadesTheNolaChickMrsWolgandreaaanatjscarChattyCathyyymedusaeditionsJoleezaPollard
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    "They should do a reality show about us!!!" - groups of drunken women all over America right now.

    • 962
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    LS_FaderJsted62skt201audsuzytolenTylerYungsooBriannaMunsenSchlossome
    • 1,532
    • RETWEETS
    zzombieismavanikkiLindseyMouncemmmandellaLadyoftheLake37Verenice_CBoiColton_Paula_SAS
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    Next to murder, the worst thing a human being can do is wave their arms slowly back and forth over their heads at a concert.

    • 544
    • FAVS
    whatkylasaidJsted62tlemcoBrandogramslaurahofer5111doolishofmannTheMightyFooleducaz1
    • 1,591
    • RETWEETS
    reillyanneanicole_hudsonfoxthechickenjxray76JonDAmbrosioJsted62Captain1Linerharebearva
    robfee
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    I'm glad @tidycats is verified. I've been fooled so many times by fake cat litter accounts.

    • 803
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    TidyCatsclaudd_07Seifert7338BrandogramstheNuzzythesulkjohnjoseph98goddamnsexymofo
    • 1,216
    • RETWEETS
    MiJaCoGeo_1967BrianLee211joanabananaaaabigailaldrichgiingerscubes84Amy_BrezzyJoannah_KDaliaPasha
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    This power outage is the worst thing to ever happen in the Superdome.

    • 534
    • FAVS
    MarlebeandafuqheadwhatkylasaidHardcoorsNickBossRossDyyyylon1952girlsBenjiGoldman
    • 1,254
    • RETWEETS
    dafuqheadAshLyellstizzlepizzleGavKandolauselessoldlochnessyeti__Sebas_was_here1__rifqiazizRA
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    The last guy who questioned my masculinity got a face full of lavender tea.

    • 946
    • FAVS
    ChuckyNookiegrandmastrgranttlemcoBrandogramshansthethirdTheeLukasAdamstheopenveinKrakowChronicle
    • 795
    • RETWEETS
    cerealplebeianjoshuajessupKeirFullertoneshanivijhjulified4uDostStephenchill_as_f_ebaG
    JiminyKicksItBrokenZmileDamienFaheyGrampaGrump
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    "Don't worry, this reality TV shit will be gone in a year." - me to room of TV writers in 2005

    • 870
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    Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 840
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    So when @chrisbrown is mad at a girl, he punches her, but when he's mad at a guy, he writes a song.

    • 426
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    SilastheViru5theopenveinR_BriggsJiminyKicksItWaitslongerthanshurtcobainalexjmannbuddhista
    • 956
    • RETWEETS
    BeymonceStevie845ToddDeRemigismikeysizeTurtleloonwolfmeelkFWEEtheopenveinMelanieArgh
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    Before I watch any new network comedy, I say to myself "This better be filled with diversity."

    • 917
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    StealthPanther2hotsoccerchic69guyfromkcmomeganlynn94feliciarmstrongOriginalLeeMaysrobbiegoodwinnolan82
    • 435
    • RETWEETS
    OriginalLeeMaysrobbiegoodwinMichaelJerrellKingDavidLaneStealthPanther2SenorManagementStephieYapevanbdup
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    I was horrified by the non-stop hitting, name-calling & hair-pulling in "Bully." Then I realized I was in "3 Stooges" and it was hilarious.

    • 271
    • FAVS
    hawaii5broJiminyKicksItshurtcobainkatdwight1980hansthethird______Bryan_Gozlingraacchheel_nicINeedASmartName
    • 1,022
    • RETWEETS
    cvbreslinDeesTheOne11JaZicsclassroomteachthisiskaty7bradrobins0nallisonkaye__meowfeb1988
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    OSCAR FUN FACT: To become Abraham Lincoln, during filming, Daniel Day-Lewis ate nothing but pennies.

    • 494
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    whatkylasaidBrandogramsKevinPetersonToughRoomBernie_Friesencatalina_rom______Lizzie_CobraJIMMY_DANGER
    • 756
    • RETWEETS
    ashbarriosmbass09mzamurmanjesskahfTru2JoshAttaboytaybangrangclassicErnestpenfold48
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    WRITING TIP: Every movie should start with a close-up of an alarm clock going off and a hand clumsily trying to silence it.

    • 560
    • FAVS
    whatkylasaidtlemcoBrandogramskatyaninyazikatiemackablekrugularKarlRylandkimad_
    • 554
    • RETWEETS
    HerbSommerfeldSamanthaLangloiCaleighChiricoBenedictTowndreamsomniaAllFarewells96t3chn0f4nAnjella_Nancie
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    I have a "beach body" in that I look like I washed ashore weeks ago.

    • 681
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    Kate_PierceThaRealWillieRCDavilaborgmamelJokeman21Eenfideleborg01JoethePearson
    • 424
    • RETWEETS
    VictoriaKesomaAlanahCEdgeCityFilmsLVDanithisisnatedeansheenaelliott84Mr_JosiahRjanettelaneblog
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    Spielberg's "Lincoln" completely glosses over his vampire hunting years.

    • 381
    • FAVS
    tlemcoTheeLukasAdamsFRANKSTALICIOUStuckonthisCaganDikenktparkerrrLauraACorral______knrdgirl
    • 705
    • RETWEETS
    redhotraggleepmelesRobDleaneyTweetBenMaxcarolynryancatharsisprokarimhigazyNoorAzharMurad
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    I'm pretty sure the last thing I'd say to somebody with a gun to my head is "You'll never get away with this."

    • 525
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    rippedkiltybvan_DuckInGlasses_PFFP__ambratheisaiahbellSagDec15shurtcobain
    • 554
    • RETWEETS
    MiketheDreamMan__ambratheisaiahbellzodiak_frankGuccibabyguccicalliebutlaIamColanderSeanKelleher
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    NRA guy forgot to blame romantic comedies for all the love-crazed people running through our airports.

    • 427
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    TaylorDevostEvyMonsterLizzieBorden83____annaingeRhecksinfrareddymalordjoedamann
    • 624
    • RETWEETS
    dono324LLHitzMargotSternriknineovie_chico_bryceyeriqwiththeqmichaeldhar
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    For the 61st year in a row, Miss Universe is from Earth. Yawn.

    • 380
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    johnprocopiotlemcopikachupukeIyokhessiAlyMcBreesyd_vargtheopenveinrealbearband
    • 630
    • RETWEETS
    maxsonjasonquaintqueer_stubotovie_chicoLady_EcholaliabludanimLeaafyBEdmndo
    tlemco
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    Attention Scriptwriters: the character of a 20-something girl who is "beautiful, but doesn't know it" does not exist in the real world.

    • 466
    • FAVS
    katyaninyaziMySweetUnitardJiminyKicksItshurtcobainKittySaysMeeowIm_TriciabrzandtMOFUGGAA
    • 527
    • RETWEETS
    Luther_CampbellScottOrmsbyfalseglittersamfire01mollygiegerichrevjay1221vintagevixenCTShamz04
    GuyEndoreKaiserkellyoxford
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    Every 10 seconds, a 22 year old girl's cell phone dies...

    • 535
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    writeslikehellmrpocesoonerick76awescarericONEderfulchar_is_aptDrugstoreCowgaltheguydf
    • 394
    • RETWEETS
    soonerick76IndigoHazardchar_is_aptcarleymartinnnbet860Quinnb0Slicerustysox45rmg185
    garnhum
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    ATTN FILMMAKERS: Is it possible the future won't be colored a bleak greenish gray with constant rain, or are you really sure of this?

    • 304
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    _sl0_theopenveinCattyMorganthelittlephraseJiminyKicksItshurtcobainmetafrothgahbee2
    • 623
    • RETWEETS
    boludohBLOODYMARIA_AprileCMfavstar_historychockablockadelightphiltheopenveinScarLaRouge
@scullymike

@scullymike

Simpsons, Parks & Rec, Raymond, Dads, and lots of canceled shows