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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    Gift @scullymike Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 4,587
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    • 3,104
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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    Remember the debate when Al Gore rolled his eyes once and quietly sighed and we were all horrified by his undignified behavior?

    • 3,782
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    _dtePatheticist1SweetLadyBlueBridgetPhetasyFilthyRichmondtaybee13JozefFaheybreezybrewin
    • 2,319
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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    A week after Oscars & I'm still reading complaints by women offended by joke about their "innate ability to never let anything go."

    • 1,567
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    DanKCharnleyawescareyeammarkkSteveDutzyrobert_weisbergBrandogramstheguydfHebrewberg
    • 2,627
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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    "Jesus Christ, get a look at these fucking idiots." - if my dad had introduced The Beatles instead of Ed Sullivan

    • 2,046
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    HollyMemphis_troyjohnsonDanKCharnleyhello_saylorjonstapleyJaxon_DillingeriChicksOnlyraventhought
    • 889
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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    The biggest lie sung by blues musicians was that they woke up in the morning.

    • 2,119
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    • 773
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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    Just saw a commercial where the WIVES were the smart ones and the HUSBANDS were the idiots. FINALLY!

    • 2,058
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    • 551
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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    "They should do a reality show about us!!!" - groups of drunken women all over America right now.

    • 966
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    HollyMemphis_troyjohnsonDanKCharnleyawescarleon_is_awesomeJsted62skt201aud
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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    Just remembered that Joan Osborne called us all slobs in that song about God twenty years ago. Fuck her.

    • 1,639
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    • 717
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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    When the fuck did everyone get into hiking?!

    • 1,461
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    • 788
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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    Next to murder, the worst thing a human being can do is wave their arms slowly back and forth over their heads at a concert.

    • 547
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    • 1,591
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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    Despite tragic passing of Joan Rivers, she'll be performing four shows this weekend at Foxwoods Casino.

    • 1,407
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    • 712
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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    I'm glad @TidyCats is verified. I've been fooled so many times by fake cat litter accounts.

    • 804
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    • 1,216
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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    The last guy who questioned my masculinity got a face full of lavender tea.

    • 994
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    • 817
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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    Amy Poehler has never won an Emmy. Whether you're in the TV academy or not, vote now & correct the biggest injustice in history of mankind.

    • 1,126
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    • 675
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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    This power outage is the worst thing to ever happen in the Superdome.

    • 536
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    • 1,254
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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    "Don't worry, this reality TV shit will be gone in a year." - me to room of TV writers in 2005

    • 872
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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    Can't wait to see "Gotham" to learn how Officer Gordon became Commissioner Gordon. Hoping for lots of test-taking and waiting for scores.

    • 1,020
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    • 612
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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    MOVIE WRITING TIP: Two characters should talk lying on grass with their heads side-by-side in opp directions. Cuz that's what people do.

    • 1,058
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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    If my daughters do absolutely nothing with their lives other than never being on #TheBachelor, I'll be incredibly proud.

    • 1,124
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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    "Gotta go get a pack of vape refills." - hipster dad abandoning his family

    • 945
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@scullymike

@scullymike

Simpsons, Parks & Rec, Everybody Loves Raymond, Carmichael Show & lots of canceled stuff. LA Kings fan & Boston Bruins bandwagon-jumper-on-er.

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