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Remember the debate when Al Gore rolled his eyes once and quietly sighed and we were all horrified by his undignified behavior?
A week after Oscars & I'm still reading complaints by women offended by joke about their "innate ability to never let anything go."
The biggest lie sung by blues musicians was that they woke up in the morning.
"Jesus Christ, get a look at these fucking idiots." - if my dad had introduced The Beatles instead of Ed Sullivan
Just saw a commercial where the WIVES were the smart ones and the HUSBANDS were the idiots. FINALLY!
"They should do a reality show about us!!!" - groups of drunken women all over America right now.
Just remembered that Joan Osborne called us all slobs in that song about God twenty years ago. Fuck her.
When the fuck did everyone get into hiking?!
Next to murder, the worst thing a human being can do is wave their arms slowly back and forth over their heads at a concert.
Despite tragic passing of Joan Rivers, she'll be performing four shows this weekend at Foxwoods Casino.
The last guy who questioned my masculinity got a face full of lavender tea.
Amy Poehler has never won an Emmy. Whether you're in the TV academy or not, vote now & correct the biggest injustice in history of mankind.
This power outage is the worst thing to ever happen in the Superdome.
"Don't worry, this reality TV shit will be gone in a year." - me to room of TV writers in 2005
Can't wait to see "Gotham" to learn how Officer Gordon became Commissioner Gordon. Hoping for lots of test-taking and waiting for scores.
MOVIE WRITING TIP: Two characters should talk lying on grass with their heads side-by-side in opp directions. Cuz that's what people do.
"Gotta go get a pack of vape refills." - hipster dad abandoning his family
Simpsons, Parks & Rec, Raymond, Carmichael Show & lots of canceled stuff. Go @lakings!
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