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  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    A week after Oscars & I'm still reading complaints by women offended by joke about their "innate ability to never let anything go."

    • 1,565
    • FAVS
    eyeammarkkSteveDutzyrobert_weisbergBrandogramstheguydfHebrewbergJIMMY_DANGERLadyLeks
    • 2,627
    • RETWEETS
    TheJaseofSpadesTheNolaChickMrsWolgandreaaanatjscarChattyCathyyymedusaeditionsJoleezaPollard
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    "They should do a reality show about us!!!" - groups of drunken women all over America right now.

    • 962
    • FAVS
    LS_FaderJsted62skt201audsuzytolenTylerYungsooBriannaMunsen__Schlossome
    • 1,532
    • RETWEETS
    zzombieismavanikkiLindseyMouncemmmandellaLadyoftheLake37Verenice_CBoiColton_Paula_SAS
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    Next to murder, the worst thing a human being can do is wave their arms slowly back and forth over their heads at a concert.

    • 545
    • FAVS
    eyeammarkkwhatkylasaidJsted62tlemcoBrandogramslaurahofer5111doolishofmannTheMightyFool
    • 1,591
    • RETWEETS
    reillyanneanicole_hudsonfoxthechickenjxray76JonDAmbrosioJsted62Captain1Linerharebearva
    robfee
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    I'm glad @tidycats is verified. I've been fooled so many times by fake cat litter accounts.

    • 803
    • FAVS
    TidyCatsclaudd_07Seifert7338BrandogramstheNuzzythesulkjohnjoseph98dogbertcosplay
    • 1,216
    • RETWEETS
    MiJaCoGeo_1967BrianLee211joanabananaaaabigailaldrichgiingerscubes84Amy_Brezzy________Joannah_KDaliaPasha
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    This power outage is the worst thing to ever happen in the Superdome.

    • 534
    • FAVS
    MarlebeandafuqheadwhatkylasaidHardcoorsNickBossRossDyyyylon1952girlsBenjiGoldman
    • 1,254
    • RETWEETS
    dafuqheadAshLyellstizzlepizzleGavKandolauselessoldlochnessyeti____Sebas_was_here1__rifqiazizRA
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    Amy Poehler has never won an Emmy. Whether you're in the TV academy or not, vote now & correct the biggest injustice in history of mankind.

    • 1,084
    • FAVS
    sass_n_assashley_barnhillIrish_NurseStacyA600meganlynn94OrthoTDSticeDoug_LormanNickFlora
    • 660
    • RETWEETS
    tylercaveNickFlorajefnaviabluescosmicoherbwelchlivesOll_Murrayfavstar1000favsSkineval
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    The last guy who questioned my masculinity got a face full of lavender tea.

    • 947
    • FAVS
    eyeammarkkChuckyNookiegrandmastrgranttlemcoBrandogramshansthethirdTheeLukasAdamstheopenvein
    • 796
    • RETWEETS
    eyeammarkkcerealplebeianjoshuajessupKeirFullertoneshanivijhjulified4uDostStephenchill_as_f
    JiminyKicksItBrokenZmileDamienFaheyGrampaGrump
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    "Don't worry, this reality TV shit will be gone in a year." - me to room of TV writers in 2005

    • 870
    • FAVS
    Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 840
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    Can't wait to see "Gotham" to learn how Officer Gordon became Commissioner Gordon. Hoping for lots of test-taking and waiting for scores.

    • 1,011
    • FAVS
    eemckhthesulkGrantLehnersharuuupJeremyHarrisonamortega00themichaellakechazbee938
    • 607
    • RETWEETS
    favstar1000favsno_beachboychazbee938Brooke_McMaster_TommyGatzamanda_hockingiamabotwinWondermonkey2k
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    So when @chrisbrown is mad at a girl, he punches her, but when he's mad at a guy, he writes a song.

    • 426
    • FAVS
    SilastheViru5theopenveinR_BriggsJiminyKicksItWaitslongerthanshurtcobainalexjmannbuddhista
    • 956
    • RETWEETS
    BeymonceStevie845ToddDeRemigismikeysizeTurtleloonwolfmeelkFWEEtheopenveinMelanieArgh
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    Before I watch any new network comedy, I say to myself "This better be filled with diversity."

    • 937
    • FAVS
    Dong_HangerthesulkCaseyWinehouse1CleverGirl1SpaclySproketJrgoldhammy_Rachelnoisetheguydf
    • 442
    • RETWEETS
    CaseyWinehouse1CleverGirl1RachelnoiseOriginalLeeMaysrobbiegoodwinMichaelJerrellKingDavidLaneStealthPanther2
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    I was horrified by the non-stop hitting, name-calling & hair-pulling in "Bully." Then I realized I was in "3 Stooges" and it was hilarious.

    • 271
    • FAVS
    hawaii5broJiminyKicksItshurtcobainkatdwight1980hansthethird______Hugh_Mongouspooraacchheel_nicINeedASmartName
    • 1,022
    • RETWEETS
    cvbreslinDeesTheOne11JaZicsclassroomteachthisiskaty7bradrobins0nallisonkaye__meowfeb1988
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    OSCAR FUN FACT: To become Abraham Lincoln, during filming, Daniel Day-Lewis ate nothing but pennies.

    • 495
    • FAVS
    eyeammarkkwhatkylasaidBrandogramsKevinPetersonwillfernchBernie_Friesencatalina_rom______Lizzie_Cobra
    • 756
    • RETWEETS
    ashbarriosmbass09mzamurmanjesskahfTru2JoshAttaboytaybangrangclassicErnestpenfold48
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    Wasn't "Coachella" the Jerry Lewis movie where he had to dress as a woman to coach a girls' basketball team?

    • 720
    • FAVS
    Nora0316DamienFaheyeemckhkeagantweetsalorre2000AEHaywardJonesKelgoreTrouthorsecocklover
    • 441
    • RETWEETS
    ChwitterChuckBigNoahPetersalexxaugustusleshiaaimeemariabrian93Favstar500FavsCrutnackerbigboigotskillz
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    WRITING TIP: Every movie should start with a close-up of an alarm clock going off and a hand clumsily trying to silence it.

    • 561
    • FAVS
    eyeammarkkwhatkylasaidtlemcoBrandogramskatyaninyazikatiemackablekrugularKarlRyland
    • 554
    • RETWEETS
    HerbSommerfeldSamanthaLangloiCaleighChiricoBenedictTowndreamsomniaAllFarewells96t3chn0f4nAnjella_Nancie
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    I have a "beach body" in that I look like I washed ashore weeks ago.

    • 682
    • FAVS
    eyeammarkkJasmineeeeesjenerousKate_PierceThaRealWillieRCDavilaborgmamelJokeman21
    • 424
    • RETWEETS
    VictoriaKesomaAlanahCEdgeCityFilmsLVDanithisisnatedeansheenaelliott84Mr_JosiahRjanettelaneblog
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    Spielberg's "Lincoln" completely glosses over his vampire hunting years.

    • 381
    • FAVS
    tlemcoTheeLukasAdamsFRANKSTALICIOUStuckonthisCaganDikenktparkerrrLauraACorral______knrdgirl
    • 705
    • RETWEETS
    redhotraggleepmelesRobDleaneyTweetBenMaxcarolynryancatharsisprokarimhigazyNoorAzharMurad
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    I'm pretty sure the last thing I'd say to somebody with a gun to my head is "You'll never get away with this."

    • 525
    • FAVS
    rippedkiltybvan_DuckInGlasses_PFFP__ambratheisaiahbellSagDec15shurtcobain
    • 554
    • RETWEETS
    MiketheDreamMan__ambratheisaiahbellzodiak_frankGuccibabyguccicalliebutlaIamColanderSeanKelleher
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    NRA guy forgot to blame romantic comedies for all the love-crazed people running through our airports.

    • 427
    • FAVS
    TaylorDevostEvyMonsterLizzieBorden83____annaingeRhecksinfrareddymalordJoeyMannMann
    • 624
    • RETWEETS
    dono324LLHitzMargotSternriknineovie_chico_bryceyeriqwiththeqmichaeldhar
  • scullymike
      Mike Scully @scullymike

    For the 61st year in a row, Miss Universe is from Earth. Yawn.

    • 381
    • FAVS
    eyeammarkkjohnprocopiotlemcopikachupukeIyokhessiAlyMcBreesyd_vargtheopenvein
    • 631
    • RETWEETS
    eyeammarkkmaxsonjasonquaintqueer_stubotovie_chicoLady_EcholaliabludanimLeaafyB
    tlemco
@scullymike

@scullymike

Simpsons, Parks & Rec, Raymond, and lots of canceled shows