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When my girlfriend queefs it makes the same sound as a balloon does when you blow it up and let it fly around as the air escapes
“@krisgal: There's no such thing as too much cheese.”.
Do you still believe this to be the case??? http://t.co/V0m2oRu
I'm thinking about going to the gay pride festivities this weekend. Not because I'm gay but because I love lesbians.
When I take the girlfriend camping, I make sure I mount her missionary style that way I don't need to pack an air mattress.
Didnt think it was possible for me to love weed anymore than I do. Yet Im proven wrong! I have @coralreefer420 to thank for this. Follow her
At pool today,my girlfriend saved a drowning lady. Problem is the lady's nails caused all kinds of damage- gf can't hold air any more- damn!
I'm not sure what it means to star fuck me, but as long as "fuck" and "me" are used in the same sentence, I'm happy.
Anyone wanna lend me about $20k? It's like money in the bank, granted one of those failed ones (and not FDIC insured)
“@gefocker: If you like the thrill of the chase, fill your inflatable sex doll with helium.” Man, sounds like you really know how to party!
If even *I* think you're a prick, then you really must be an asshole.
Have a great day jackass.
@derick549 Would have stopped by hours ago but forgot where you live. Oh well,I found a bum that let me eat the crumbs in his beard so Im ok
The nerve of some people! This rude lady called my girlfriend an airhead. As if! I mean, I have class: I sprung for the solid rubber model
You know you're creepy when you get kicked out of the porno shop for being inappropriate.
It's only happened to me twice
This week
I kept all these free AOL CDs from the 90s figuring they might be worth some $ or would make a good weapon in zombie apocalypse. Any takers?
Some women do kegel exercises to make their vag tighter. My girlfriend hads it easy,no need to exercise. Just a little extra air & shes set
@fsusteve this is what I love most about my girlfriend. She's a tiger in bed but never makes a peep. As you can see from my pic, she's hot
Went to beach with girlfriend today. Not only does she look hot in a bikini, but she's also great for riding on in the waves!
"Pirate's Booty" : if there was ever a less appetizing name for a snack, I've never heard of it.
Looking to me for inspiration is like looking to a great white shark to save you from drowning.
I'm new to this twitter thing. I enjoy walks on the beach, cigarettes, weed, porno, and alcohol, in no particular order. Interested ladies inquire within!
