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When I take the girlfriend camping, I make sure I mount her missionary style that way I don't need to pack an air mattress.
When my girlfriend queefs it makes the same sound as a balloon does when you blow it up and let it fly around as the air escapes
I'm thinking about going to the gay pride festivities this weekend. Not because I'm gay but because I love lesbians.
At pool today,my girlfriend saved a drowning lady. Problem is the lady's nails caused all kinds of damage- gf can't hold air any more- damn!
I'm not sure what it means to star fuck me, but as long as "fuck" and "me" are used in the same sentence, I'm happy.
Anyone wanna lend me about $20k? It's like money in the bank, granted one of those failed ones (and not FDIC insured)
If even *I* think you're a prick, then you really must be an asshole.
Have a great day jackass.
The nerve of some people! This rude lady called my girlfriend an airhead. As if! I mean, I have class: I sprung for the solid rubber model
You know you're creepy when you get kicked out of the porno shop for being inappropriate.
It's only happened to me twice
I kept all these free AOL CDs from the 90s figuring they might be worth some $ or would make a good weapon in zombie apocalypse. Any takers?
Some women do kegel exercises to make their vag tighter. My girlfriend hads it easy,no need to exercise. Just a little extra air & shes set
Went to beach with girlfriend today. Not only does she look hot in a bikini, but she's also great for riding on in the waves!
"Pirate's Booty" : if there was ever a less appetizing name for a snack, I've never heard of it.
Looking to me for inspiration is like looking to a great white shark to save you from drowning.
I'm new to this twitter thing. I enjoy walks on the beach, cigarettes, weed, porno, and alcohol, in no particular order. Interested ladies inquire within!