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Just found out that "Holler atcha boy!" and "Yell at your son!" mean different things.
Just said 'Get a grip, Cher!" out loud after reading one of her Tweets. Meanwhile, I'm the one eating peppermint bark for dinner.
Be nice to people you know and don't. Be good at what you do. Go to the doctor.
Diane in 7A was fake but the Internet's appalling taste in spectacle is real.
A depressing tale of human wretchedness that turns out to be complete bullshit? I expected more from a producer of The Bachelorette.
I always turn off How the Grinch Stole Christmas before Cindy Lou Who works her devil magic on the Grinch and turns him good.
Does anyone know what happened on The Voice last week? Great. Keep it to yourself.
"I'm a really lousy doctor and I'm here to say / your husband didn't make it and he passed away"
Note to drive-thru cashiers: no matter what you say, my parting response is always “Thanks, you too.” Please make this work.
Documentary Pitch: I follow Drake around and try to figure out what that whole thing is about.
oh wow this is a million times funnier than the whole airplane note twitter war. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/01/kyle-kinane-pace-salsa-twitter-war_n_4369662.html …
i saw a piece of jewelry and got excited but then i looked again and it was a piece of garbage
I love Tosh.0, I can't count the number of times I've been watching 'Faces of Death' and thought "This could use a Dane Cook type."
IDEAS THAT CAME TO ME ON THE 5: burqa hoodies, car catheters, the proof of God is encoded in nature's patterns, bottled toilet water 4 dogs
I was going to get a pet but then I found a sock covered in dust bunnies under the bed. They eat dud popcorn kernels, right?
Holy shit! It's a beautiful day! Now, back to my head.
2013: I just bought software that's being shipped to me on discs, and it feels way more retro than buying music on vinyl.