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We are all overly critical of people in zombie movies/shows. They live in a different universe and/or timeline where zombies don't exist....
Brb. Gone bear fighting
When my knife is used and not cared for on nights I'm not in #kitchenpetpeeves
Did you have an enormous lady boner? Like, if you went for a jog, it'd be awkward?
To do in waking life what others do in sleep
Craft beer. The fucking hops arms race
NASA signs G Ilya Bryzgalov to 6 yr 34 million dollar deal. Both parties very excited. "We look forward to learning from each other"
Telling someone their birth certificate was just an apology letter from the coat hangar factory. Maybe an overreaction
I chugged so much cat hair that night I just couldn't deal anymore
This waking up before 1pm is going to be the death of me
Life's a sandwich. You gotta take it all the way to the edge, otherwise you just have a shitty sandwich