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Victoria Station evacuated, don't travel there or near.
I just had a horribly chilling thought of just how many people will be standing on the left of Tube escalators during the Olympics.
In other news, that's the oven wrong again until March. This half of the year is known as 'Microwave Time'.
And now we watch as Huw and Hazel drag a screaming Trevor Nelson to the top of the sacrificial pyramid, and appease the Twitter Gods.
Does anybody have any studio photography equipment they're wanting to sell off? Softboxes on stands, tall backdrops etc. An RT would be ace.
People who retweet Christmas countdown tweets need rounding up, carting off to Lapland and leaving on a mountain wearing nothing but socks.
It's like some hideous MIDI backed monstrosity created by colliding Cascada and Shakira together in a particle accelerator. #eurovision
Fair enough, you're playing Foursquare, check in and get your points. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD UNCHECK THE TWITTER SHARE BOX. We don't CARE.
I am loving the fact that a member of GLC is now a councillor for Newport. Pfft. 'With all due respect sir, your mum has a penis.'
Paralympic Opening Ceremony tonight, featuring a nation's comedians repeatedly half-writing tweets and hitting backspace.
Victoria Station has now reopened.
Mid to high twenties, funny spells with an 80% chance of prolonged drivel. Outlook: Bleak.