@secretdonkey's (Mark Gilmore) most faved Tweets...
When I called you my schadenfriend, it was mainly just to keep you on your portmanteaus.
15
lafixiamnotdiddyMrBigFistsBeauBockBillMc7Trick_or_tweetSilkPillownavanaxbehindyourbackthejohnblogSmmytheDoogieHowser_MDiamjustcaraMeesterNickthetearooms
Revenge is a dish best served spiked with lots of laxatives.
8
crabapplezMrBigFistsBeauBockBillMc7SilkPillowmire12has2b_christyvMeesterNick
Oh, the domestic light beer in the fridge? That's all your mom will drink.
8
lafixPunkTacoBeauBockBillMc7SilkPillownavanaxhas2b_christyvMeesterNick
JD Salinger dead at 91. Cause of death: Accidental exposure to "Pants on the Ground."
7
lafixheidiptrcSilkPillowjasonmustianCroweJamhas2b_christyvMeesterNick
What a day. Stepped in some Bieber and now the whole apartment smells like Jonas.
6
roughdictionstookey_girlArielAkivalucyspetjasonmustianMeesterNick
I just starfished your mom's last tweet, if you know what I mean.
6
iamnotdiddylafixBeauBockBillMc7SilkPillowMeesterNick
I'm not petty about dividing things up after breakup, just wish she'd let me borrow the ex box every once in a while.
5
SmmytheDoogieHowser_MDkambrockroughdictionMeesterNick
Freebie for Pants on the Ground Guy: "Words on your hand, words on your hand, lookin' like a fool with them words on your hand..."
5
heidiptrcwhoapowerCroweJamBillMc7MeesterNick
Doorbell rang, sure it was that vagina-gram. Owe neighbor an awkward apology now.
5
thejohnblogCroweJamjasonmustianhas2b_christyvMeesterNick
If there's not a gay southern rock tribute band out there named ZZ Bottom, the world has seriously dropped a handful of balls on this.
5
iamyoushouldtooSlappNuttzSilkPillowjasonmustianMeesterNick
Pretty much suck at multi-tasking, but hey, having an extra set of hands would sure spice up the old masturbation routine.
4
J_EthanjasonmustianiamjustcaraMeesterNick
Hope U.S. team pulls it off in the 10 meter bead toss tonight.
4
SmmythekambrockjmlisloveMeesterNick
I have a certain, undefinable quality even the French don't have a term for. Okay, so "douche" is French... SUE ME, ALREADY!!!
4
crankfetterSilkPillowbehindyourbackCroweJam
You really appreciate how Target nails that "Walmart-meets-Ikea" niche when trying to navigate out of back part of store.
4
crankfetterSilkPillowbehindyourbackCroweJam
Confessional 2.0 - come for the catharsis, stay for the glory hole™ #catholictaglines
4
mannyteeePunkTacokambrockDoanDoDat
Silence is golden. But deadly. Who will stand next to me on this?
4
iamnotdiddylafixFunnyLvnGirlBillMc7
I really don't understand what motivates cutters and self-harm folk but Justin Bieber is trending again and wow a light just went on.
3
katherinecmroughdictionCroweJam
Getting shaved with straight razor by gay barber probably the kinkiest thing I've ever done. Unless you count that salad from your mom.
3
mannyteeeiamyoushouldtooCroweJam
In a way this is all just about us live-Tweeting our slow journey towards death. Wake me when it's over. Or something funny happens.
3
TheUnsayablekiwitwit1thetearooms
No, I have absolutely no desire to watch gay porn. Unless a Bert/Ernie/Ren/Stimpy/SpongeBob/Patrick/Mister Rogers orgy counts.
3
PunkTacochristinaa_whoiamjustcara
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