@secretsquirrel's (Ryan) most faved Tweets...
I've never watched Lost, but one time I took acid and read a Choose Your Own Adventure book front to back, so I figure there's no need.
One is the loneliest number. Seven is kinda racist. Nine needs to just come out already. Four drinks to forget. Three is angry, so so angry.
The creator of the frisbee has died. As a tribute I will be spending the day lodged irrevocably in a roof gutter.
"Stop making up things about me on the internet," said my housemate, as he rode his Russian, mail-order bride around like a fat, sassy pony.
Week 3 of unemployment, and I can't even remember how else you'd eat cereal besides dry, straight from the box and while crying.
No, guys, guys - it's the Mayan *social* calendar that ends in 2012. It just means that they're free for hors d'oeuvres and mixers in 2013.
Little brother is surfing on the Portuguese coast.
I'm not jealous. I can see part of a tree from my cubicle.
Sometimes.
Through the tears.
I'm not jealous. I can see part of a tree from my cubicle.
Sometimes.
Through the tears.
When life gives you lemons, maybe you deserve lemons. Life doesn't hand out reasonless lemons. Some of us are pretty tired of your lemonade.
These boots were made for Walken. Christopher Walken. So don't tell him I have them, and if yoOH GOD HERE HE COMES.
From an adjacent toilet stall comes the soft click of an iPhone camera shutter, and suddenly I find myself reprioritising.
I don't have buns of 'steel', as such. They're... well, have you ever dropped playdough onto carpet and when you pick it up it's all furry?
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