I'm proud of Alan Ruck for turning down what I'm sure was a lot of money they offered him to be in the Ferris Bueller car ad. #superbowl

@pattonoswalt "I took care of that thing for you." -Luke after destroying Death Star #ItalianStereotypeStarWars

Happy Qarth of July, everybody! @gameofthrones

Depressives Dance Party!! Everybody lie down.

"Booooo!" -Ghost kids after being told they can't eat ice cream anymore.

I'm thinking of replacing, "How's it going?" with "EXPLAIN YOURSELF."

Lebron's face after that loss as kid yells at him "GOOD EFFORT! GOOD JOB!" is now in my top 20 favorite sports moments. #nbaplayoffs

"Winter is occurring." -House Stark's awkward motto this time of year #GameofThrones #GoT

Was Billy Crystal playing Melissa McCarthy's mother? #Oscars

I can't wait to hear Chewbacca roar when they face the audience! #royalwedding

Somebody tell Renee Zellweger's pharmacologist to ease off. #oscar2013 pic.twitter.com/xyqX94leNL

Ep 2 of #GameShop is up! @mrhoratiosanz @_ryanlee_ @captdope @breagrant @jordan_morris @barakhardley! Dir by me!  http://bit.ly/TUC1f0 

I don't know how Bob Costas can discuss anything OTHER than world peace after the important message we were just sent. #halftimeshow

I'm guessing Rex Ryan's rousing half-time speech will involve counterfeit passports and new identities. #jets #ugh

"Look at it this way, bro, at least only ONE of us got AIDS!" (High fives) #lastlineofEntourage

"We need to help girls like this be seen and heard." -Guy who just took that girl's speech time #oscar2013

"You come at the King, you best not miss." Donnie Andrews, the Real-Life Omar Little, Dies at 58.  http://nyti.ms/RuPH69 

This is the worst Bob Newhart album ever. #ClintEastwood

"She was like the hottest girl I ever had. She was like Pocahontas, dude." -Bros eating next to us

CNN reports #Osama 's last words: "Well these dishes aren't going to do themse--HOLY CRAP!"