@semperjeff's (Jeff W) most faved Tweets...
Its amazing how much motivation one can get from little gold stars. It worked as kids. It works on Twitter. Employers should try it.
If a colleague asks if you've seen his misplaced rectal thermometer, DO NOT stare quizically at the oral thermometer in the patient's mouth.
You know you've made it in life when your Twitter account needs to have a Verified Account badge. That, and you have an entry on Wikipedia.
: <-- This is a colon.
. <-- This SHOULD be a semi-colon since it's a half colon.
; <-- This SHOULD be a mega-colon since it's a bit more.
. <-- This SHOULD be a semi-colon since it's a half colon.
; <-- This SHOULD be a mega-colon since it's a bit more.
Courts will no longer utilize character witnesses. Instead, they will just look at which tweets we have starred.
Guys, we're all screwed.
Guys, we're all screwed.
When unsubscribing from a mailing list I like to answer the "Why?" questionnaire with: "It's not you, it's me."
When in doubt, a drug's side effects include nausea, diarrhea, & vomiting.
These pharmaceutical companies really need to get more creative.
These pharmaceutical companies really need to get more creative.
I'm pretty sure that when Boyz II Men wrote, "It'a so Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday," it wasn't on a Tuesday.
Took a month for my 1st 10 star tweet to get 10 stars. My 2nd took 5 days. Either I'm getting wittier or you all are lowering your standards
Actually had to scrape ice off my windshield this morning. I am disappointed in you, Southern California. Not good for your reputation...
I snicker to myself a I read these misprlled tweets that have so many stats.
Tweeting on phones has never been so accuraye.
Tweeting on phones has never been so accuraye.
I just found out that as part of my ongoing Supportive Therapy my Online Therapist has been starring my tweets.
It showed up on my bill.
It showed up on my bill.
Need to replace the Honda logo on my car with a Toyota one. It'll come in handy if I get pulled over. Sorry, Officer. Accelerator problems.
"Now you can have your cake and eat it too."
Can we stop giving out cake to people who don't know how to do both? Let's not be wasteful.
Can we stop giving out cake to people who don't know how to do both? Let's not be wasteful.
I wish my undergrad school offered a degree in Social Engineering. It'd probably be more useful than the Bioengineering degree I got.
Study: Women with irregular menstrual cycles become regular when exposed to male underarm extracts.
Ladies? Need help? Accepting PayPal.
Ladies? Need help? Accepting PayPal.
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