10/10 morning wood is always right. RT“@pimpbillclinton: Scarlett Johansson wants you to admire her BOOBS - http://t.co/kMNTzDFp””

LOOK AT THESE TIG OL' BITTIES RT"@pimpbillclinton: #Boner These Sexy Female Athletes Got Them TIT-TAY$ on Display! http://t.co/l4YVFKWT"

@consumedbyhate @huntermoore dude your pubes are longer than your dick.

SWALLOW IT WHOLE, BABY. RT"@pimpbillclinton: Kate Upton putting some meat in her mouth FTW! ==>  http://bit.ly/W4Ytdb "

#replacebandnameswithboner A Boner to Remember

Americans, remind me again why you "need" guns in your households?

I've been listening to @vannaboston since '06. Get into it.

I have a certificate of authentitty for this motorboat.

'Charming' is one letter away from 'harming'

I find it ironic that uni-brow is not one word.

How I Was Arranged With Your Mother
#16thCenturySitComs

It's Hugh Laurie's birthday today.

I wonder if he's going to die of lupus or amyloidosis. Has to be one of the two. Always is.

You're so full of shit even your eyes are brown.

You're going to jam out with your clam out, it's going to be magical.

@rachaellovesjew +1 for the Dazed and Confused header.

I'm giving up sacrifices for lent.

Today's national woman day got me thinking about how much I love women. And then I got a boner.

Green Eggs and Diarrhea. #sadDrSeuss

You're so fat you look like you deep fry your hands before biting your fingernails.

I'm the king at finding ways to get emotionally fucked.