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#replacebandnameswithboner A Boner to Remember
Americans, remind me again why you "need" guns in your households?
I have a certificate of authentitty for this motorboat.
'Charming' is one letter away from 'harming'
I find it ironic that uni-brow is not one word.
How I Was Arranged With Your Mother
It's Hugh Laurie's birthday today.
I wonder if he's going to die of lupus or amyloidosis. Has to be one of the two. Always is.
You're so full of shit even your eyes are brown.
You're going to jam out with your clam out, it's going to be magical.
I'm giving up sacrifices for lent.
Today's national woman day got me thinking about how much I love women. And then I got a boner.
You're so fat you look like you deep fry your hands before biting your fingernails.
I'm the king at finding ways to get emotionally fucked.