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Ignore this tweet. I ran into a friend from high-school and he thinks i'm saving his number
When a dog barks in the middle of the night and all the other dogs bark after him together, i feel like they are planning to take over
Life Tip #278: For the next 30 days make all major decisions in your life with a coin toss.
The best thing about being married is that on any given day you have the power to make someone absolutely miserable.
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