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Yo I'm not gay I just crush a lot
In the year 2014 an estimated 75,000 white girls will die because they can't even right now
Kisses make your heart young again and wipes away years
Hell is a family function completely sober.
Smack my own butt, cause it's so cute
Home is a concept, not a place. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I like being embarrassingly honest, it scares the wrong people for me away and let's the right people know how cool and funny I am.
Apologize to your girlfriend with a baggy of weed and oral. Fight over.
I used to like alcohol but it requires too much commitment
I've gotten so good at satire it makes joking with new people impossible and for people who meet me in real life to differentiate
I'm gonna write the most painfully indiefilm cliche' screenplay and it's gonna become a movie AND YOU'RE ALL GOING TO LOVE IT.
From my rotting body flowers shall grow, and I am in them-and that is eternity. Carpe noctem.
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