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  • Necropedophile3
      چوري @Necropedophile3

    I think you better kiss me before I make any more promises that I can't possibly keep.

    • 117
    • FAVS
    dhiraarzeezee_88Kassiknorr________pokechop_laAllyBallyBeallaylinaKhalifa101SuggestibleDave
    • 55
    • RETWEETS
    zeezee_88josephoyugi6ruffyoungAllyBallyBealTarekJan__________ModernPsycheSoberphobicccshivwalk
    TommyyGunsf14
  • MissHurricanez
      Hurricane @MissHurricanez

    Apparently Guinness World records doesn't want to include me in their book even though I can motorboat myself

    • 22
    • FAVS
    TheNordicHammerstevewilliams52DepecheALAmodeSeamusQuinnEsqaKhalifa101llvvzzchilghettirobyn_vo
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    stevewilliams52swollenvoicesf14astr0naughty__
    sf14
  • ExhibitJuliet
      Bunny Gordon @ExhibitJuliet

    When someone says "no"...

    And you say "watch me"...

    • 17
    • FAVS
    ChristianPlanteNymphoFor________EbrahimDJanepeterjames48sf14rad_hernankinky_pearlDanny_McH2O
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    sf14kinky_pearlTtownRayAnzacCanuckJoeTheWino
    sf14
  • HG_XXX_Kitchen
      Kitchen @HG_XXX_Kitchen

    What's the difference between a huge penis and a unicorn?

    Unicorns are white.

    • 110
    • FAVS
    lilwhiteone____IsaDonk__________ladybellalesliePharaohIVEightinchgoatScigglez__________Bubu_HaudingGoofpoops
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    Laura_loganxxTheIronSherksinfulnothings____EightinchgoatGoofpoopsgregums21ImWinning216LyddieKae
    sf14
  • LoKarloRT
      Saira. @LoKarloRT

    In a parallel universe, people are wasting their time by 'having a life'.

    • 237
    • FAVS
    wistyloonyangryindieLcatDizneemynameismindehFitTwittaAmrrwisedjleybaAFUEGO
    • 160
    • RETWEETS
    LcatDizneeHMorsyyTMaxwellsyalfiandibasyariLittle_Storm11CV_81RronnSaysafiff90
    GreenSmoke_sf14
  • shgasm
      Ashgasm @shgasm

    Make me laugh and there's a good chance I'll let you make me cum.

    • 389
    • FAVS
    CalWarnerBadMikeyBadCaribbePirate76CPK3_whatever88SamBaeuxThePhoenixOLoveLett3rs______
    • 108
    • RETWEETS
    CaribbePirate76_whatever88LallypupaCoopFoggImBehavingVanVeenBSteevUmcTagtooed
    sf14
  • IrishVin
      Irish (Man) @IrishVin

    In a bar:

    - Are you two lovely ladies from Ireland?
    - No! It's Wales you asshole! Wales!
    - Ooohh. Sorr-ee. Are you two whales from Ireland?

    • 903
    • FAVS
    holypurgatoryericsshadowIllzaneodienewwest507pmdeb4adayHendrixLife91Scott_A_Gilmore
    • 656
    • RETWEETS
    Illzanenaomioshiguerillaz1deb4adayHendrixLife91Scott_A_GilmoreMAngelesCollad1djskill3t
    DudeImShawnsf14GingerGanderlilgapeach30______SmooheedStu_MonsterNoorShammakentgrossarth
  • BakedElle
      Boobarella @BakedElle

    Oh you'd wreck my pussy if we fucked?

    Bro, I'd wreck your entire life if we fucked.

    • 2,649
    • FAVS
    jadar671soBeitman1SarahMtzZguybrush2245Princesscarweechris_baantonYeah_WeKissedYaBoyyLex
    • 1,249
    • RETWEETS
    Jonknee83T_TantrumsYeah_WeKissedHotMessFianceeKYBDSMselenaLovevV_Michael_WwThatstonerchik
    Stevie_TalkhirojesusAlyssa_Joliepolorizepbear79NowAPiscesHrBryworley_7life_suckerthongbeardgwatts77EvilNshitJessObsess10InchesPlusPeachyPixel8A_SmartAsshidingfrommesf14partiallyproWhiskeyandMeds____CaptainObtuse
  • CatLitterGirl____
      Jamie Lee @CatLitterGirl____

    Where can I buy a black girl butt?

    • 495
    • FAVS
    DanOnDrugsnocturnologyhogrider05tkhan74BwadWilliamsDaPopeOfDopeHogtownGatorsScigglez__________
    • 136
    • RETWEETS
    hogrider05tkhan74StarksWeekhdichualb1690MrsJekyllsHydeSpiritsokoGrind_n_Roll
    sf14
  • megbowler
      megatron @megbowler

    I've come to the conclusion that Steve jobs is a poltergeist that haunts iPhone batteries and that's why they run out so fast.

    • 67
    • FAVS
    CaribbePirate76SunsetSherryblazethesinnernumbertzefornicapeMrAdamBezAndLive2LoveTmoney68
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    blazethesinnerpearlH20WoodEE_D69________blanket_boob__MCaparcoAdrianYoung10Favstar500Favsy2nite
    sf14
  • heidi420x
      brain vomit @heidi420x

    My bed has moved a somewhat disturbing distance from the wall considering I haven't had any sex in it.

    • 77
    • FAVS
    bearcub577TheRealRHB969173721greeneyedloon____MikeMcMikaelsonJohnnyNopolissabakhanAndyKirchner
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    bearcub577hanncatherinephobophileBrutusnutTmoney68JayCee302________Just4funsasf14
    sf14
  • swisherr_tweet
      buttercup @swisherr_tweet

    How to be a white girl:

    1.) Get a frappuccino from Starbucks
    2.) take a picture drinking it
    3.) Instagram it
    4.) hash tag 'summerrrrrrrrr'

    • 680
    • FAVS
    shaynewargojannable9BlooddainTheTalkingPipeHuajatollaChic3myk5CailleyMcintyreravgirly
    • 450
    • RETWEETS
    shaynewargoRealShaughn3myk5theprotag0nistBrandSephd_a_nichBrowneyed_mamaSternoShots
    ilovepie84sf14
  • SmoulderingV
      Violet @SmoulderingV

    I love you so much I'll let you choose which hole

    • 243
    • FAVS
    BigBagOfScumorphanfannyNikkiSwallows____Nahdude83bambino345Joshsquashgoshbbast6naughtygeisha3
    • 75
    • RETWEETS
    kikrocksbitchNahdude83Joshsquashgoshnaughtygeisha3Nihilist_Ned______tgdtirstpmodaemonic3wildchild6901
    sf14
  • CrazeeMadHatter__
      CrazeeMadHatter @CrazeeMadHatter__

    Life is so damn short. Do who/what you love & makes you happy. Tell the critics to fuck off. That is all the inspiration I can muster. Sorry

    • 178
    • FAVS
    Big_G0TTITotallyUnfunnyBaldyLockzzBLoveAffairLord_AnarchyJenny4ashleyraven_rose10__PYWL
    • 86
    • RETWEETS
    BLoveAffairTheIronSherkjustinkase546JustMarieAgainToxicButTastymax_pad21jshires92________justdoitnowok
    sf14
  • tayandmae
      ~Anna~ @tayandmae

    I'm opening up a restaurant called: I Don't Care, Where Do You Wanna Go?

    • 2,602
    • FAVS
    StGutterLilyGymLeaderSejlaRillyTallCansParpClotpoleKrissyPeterssenBwanaChrisDaisyMoo67Ms_SerenityJT
    • 1,743
    • RETWEETS
    KrissyPeterssenawichmondayBwanaChrismitchantal16Queen_of_SnarkBuckeyeAnnie2WalterJMarvelSkinnieTalls
    LindaInDisguiseCroweJammelibufflwhit_the_bossoakhillbargrilllovablelucasashleycremJaySommerNinjaFuneralSonnyPisanoRappaRicksf14MrToleton
  • MyFairCharity
      MyFairCharity @MyFairCharity

    Where do I find one of you in real life?

    • 911
    • FAVS
    little_bird18NancyPuddingKostadinLalevBlaineKyFuzzy_sueooforthnotstatePagikahh
    • 457
    • RETWEETS
    AdrianOzil11KostadinLalevBlaineKyFuzzy_sue2014shortypanTdropperswekfieDaAwful
    sf140lipops__________SergioValenCo
  • vicki2020
      Vicki @vicki2020

    The worst kind of thief is the one whose mission is to steal someone else's happiness.

    • 24
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68wisemanirrvrent118_chazBrettNFKsamalmightysamTheBlindLemon5haelJennyLu_Who
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    118_chazJennyLu_Whosf14noneofyours99laughingkimmieRenar27MoodyBrewlittlekitnerboy
    sf14
  • nburrr____________
      nburrr @nburrr____________

    Heels. So I'm the perfect height when you bend me over.

    • 310
    • FAVS
    thistletat13TheGloriousCuntScotticlesnicfit75CrabbyMerkinNotesStarsskadel68Bradsh4w__________
    • 109
    • RETWEETS
    thistletat13just_jayded____supertweetjennaughtygeisha3Bmrider69tangtastesgoodblonde_hysteriacyanidecynic
    Sarcasmo718sf14krazy313hunteriheartguntsgood2go013________
  • Jazzzzzmina
      Taquito @Jazzzzzmina

    Things I look for in a man:
    1. Able to pick me up and fuck me against the wall.
    2. Please see #1

    • 395
    • FAVS
    BangGangingdegako83__________ReginaldDennysShesleepsat12amTommyDeeseLWillMFThompson__ThatDudeFkarenedgar
    • 149
    • RETWEETS
    Shesleepsat12amkarenedgarpats_timeslopoke1000LoveKristyxo______G2AlvaradodisruptivElla____bvvbvnbbvnbv
    EvilNshitnburrr____________sf14
  • ag_loco__________
      Aella @ag_loco__________

    'For freeeeeeeeeedom!'

    *brandish imaginary sword*

    - unacceptable things to shout when leaving the office for a long weekend, apparently

    • 224
    • FAVS
    Jack_Wagon1pattibythebay1_WhisperingEyesenniaritaDouchekevinGregHenchmankodeeezzzyStormTrooper34____
    • 79
    • RETWEETS
    1_WhisperingEyeDouchekevinLaniBenoArrowsOfTheSunOCDelight21mwahjtiesBreaderyPabloGSerski
    sf14
@sf14

@sf14

Ellen Degeneres' gynecologist by day, Lindsay Lohan's drug dealer by night, and Canada's representative in the United States Congress. http://t.co/bgmmoidhKc

Tweets that @sf14 has recently awarded the Tweet of the Day.