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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • seechelle1
      ChelleChelle @seechelle1

    We all know, once you lose trust,
    It's hard to get back,
    But so is respect.

    • 85
    • LIKES
    Wa_ClemdoctorjaninWorldofWid_moomoo666ErinRobins205cedubtastyspicemorgan0582
    • 49
    • RETWEETS
    doctorjaninWorldofWidTLchDer367tastyspiceSassyTexasGalmaverrikkkfitnessmeesilent_musings
    sf14
  • dreamsinchocola
      Wishful Renee' @dreamsinchocola

    Hearing your husband fart in the shower, then laughing hysterically to himself. This is marriage, kids. Don't be too quick to sign up.

    • 679
    • LIKES
    DailyCrush1lasergirl70Donnalicious24sf14k_lliDearAuntAbbykatygirldreaminheyevergreen
    • 360
    • RETWEETS
    DailyCrush1lasergirl70rankingTweetsk_lliDearAuntAbbyHecate41PopSlapFunksaraaanya
    sf14constantlyjosh
  • ThatSapphireBel
      B E L U C C I @ThatSapphireBel

    More people have been driven insane due to hope rather than fear.

    • 196
    • LIKES
    wifewithabsmustafasamehREVIMHarshit_tyagidraindesertnovirindiShoutingGoddessVerbsRProudestmarie_kayla15
    • 151
    • RETWEETS
    draindesertF1L7HShoutingGoddessIfrahShoutskalina_a_Chantictsm560md_says
    sf14
  • junejuly12
      June @junejuly12

    Where's the beef?

    ~ Mahatma Gandhi probably

    • 111
    • LIKES
    iwearaonesieDrunkkLawyermattZillaaaaKrunkedRobottonyposnanskiLaniBenosf14madamesnooty
    • 66
    • RETWEETS
    DrunkkLawyerJPolkSentellmattZillaaaaTwiterHerotonyposnanskiDevilryFunTrudaciouscre8luv_4u
    sf14
  • T_Bonezzz
      Bonez @T_Bonezzz

    She may be Canadian, but her autocorrect changed "I'm sorry" to "Fuck off"

    • 70
    • LIKES
    valentinebaby82iGreenMonk_Water_BabyDustyHumePopSlapFunkLove_bug1016iwearaonesieTwoSapphiresBlu
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    valentinebaby82iGreenMonk_Water_BabyDustyHumePopSlapFunkLove_bug10162Sassy4321SpacePrisoner
    junejuly12sf14
  • Nicole_Kapp87
      Nicole Kapp @Nicole_Kapp87

    Do you ever look at your dog as he lays there growling at you for coughing, and wonder, "Why am I best friends with this jerk?"

    • 186
    • LIKES
    thebeckyardskickwriterClichedOutGupton68zeeshannkhalidmoose_chocolateItsLaTourettefuddlemark
    • 97
    • RETWEETS
    ClichedOutzeeshannkhalidWoodyLuvsCoffeejust1foolUnseenShredsAGreaterMonsterkatta_IoIkattThaJawn
    sf14
  • PowKaPowBoom
      OreOh Effect @PowKaPowBoom

    I don't mind when people run their mouth online because at least they're exercising something.

    • 98
    • LIKES
    LoveYoorFateFamilyRamblingsAngieissotealbluejayVirgin_BoxPegsterRNMarcmywords2VodkaTiem
    • 66
    • RETWEETS
    AngieissotealbluejayVirgin_BoxEliasfarrajMarcmywords2DeExceptionalmBEAUTYeVodkaTiem
    sf14
  • xLiserx
      Lisa P to the O @xLiserx

    Google Maps can't find my clitoris, either.

    • 74
    • LIKES
    SirTeeeeeJSlims_Ramblingsfuzzlimepastache_Hector_SrslyAphoticAbyssluvmyADHDSamBK71
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    Hector_Srslychi179gvicksbigmike0759shidiy_254shawn_spreeryan_rachryan80ThaJawn
    sf14
  • EBenita0517
      ~E~ville @EBenita0517

    I'm "hold the antenna right there and don't move" years old.

    • 709
    • LIKES
    Tlapp1DrunkkLawyerMlsmith1366FlyJ_straightnofiltrKatieBurnettThaJawn1InTheStinker
    • 472
    • RETWEETS
    vanced5479Tlapp1DrunkkLawyerMlsmith1366FlyJ_straightnofiltrTiny_Tan_TattedThaJawn
    sf14
  • WhaJoTalkinBout
      Jo Diggity @WhaJoTalkinBout

    Go to a bar with 5 lighters, you come home with none.

    Go to a bar with no lighters, you come home with 5.

    -Smoking proverb

    • 305
    • LIKES
    RonR55128000IB4ECeptAfterCsamfromksAN0NYM0US_OSITrinnArtistCaptianRamRod_B4TM4N1CleverGirl1
    • 189
    • RETWEETS
    gildermikezakri_alhasyRonR55128000samfromksAN0NYM0US_OSICaptianRamRod_B4TM4N1CleverGirl1
    sf14
  • jctwritesstuff
      JC Tarp @jctwritesstuff

    *has argument with husband*
    *brings up all the dumb shit he said in 2011*

    *adds "Historian" to bio*

    • 364
    • LIKES
    scott_toweldreamthievinreebsedwards9only1_wordsFrizerkaSandraran1_khan_Mybubble_Leistunghund
    • 217
    • RETWEETS
    reebsedwards9FrizerkaSandraran1_khanNoOneImptdirtyddixonRhinoURsofarrsogudKeroNotorio
    ran1_khansf14
  • Ivsy01
      Ivsy @Ivsy01

    *stands next to a guy in line with kids so it looks like we're a family.

    • 524
    • LIKES
    1evilidiotsunnydaydream95rachellelynnie1ThatSapphireBelnovicefatherloribuckmajorFuttyNudgekinsjermstar
    • 263
    • RETWEETS
    kim_agrwalThatSapphireBelokiecomedianElleofanassElle__novicefatherFuttyNudgekinsP0tterhead_394MartaEffing
    sf14Jarhead44
  • rose24_em
      EmRose24 @rose24_em

    Do you think when Samuel L. Jackson does a movie without Quentin Tarantino, Quentin stands outside his house with a boom box over his head?

    • 350
    • LIKES
    maggiemay047HiJCPheroinsdemiseSlims_RamblingsAfterDecember96wordwizard85Be___DopeUhhmIDontKnow
    • 213
    • RETWEETS
    rolling_2HiJCPWhosYourVaderAfterDecember96wordwizard85Be___DopeUhhmIDontKnowSharris76
    _QueenOfSinsf14LoveNLunchmeat
  • LoveYoorFate
      Amor Fati @LoveYoorFate

    If I send you to the store for butter & you come home with margarine...

    Just know I'm gonna stab you in the eyeball

    • 79
    • LIKES
    AuteurRimbaud__zaranek22tsm560CaptstabbyfacesupnuggetTheMichaelRockSkinnieTallsLowborne
    • 49
    • RETWEETS
    tsm560CaptstabbyfacesupnuggetTedBundybitchfreckleface_66_daFMPantsSteveThomas67sweetstormcloud
    sf14
  • _troyjohnson
      Troy Johnson @_troyjohnson

    [inventing the tea kettle]

    "It should make a sound when it's ready."

    "Nice. Like a bell?"

    "I was thinking animals screaming in pain."

    • 140
    • LIKES
    1evilidiotLexshaftQuix0ticaArcherfiretruckBabyDavsmerrily_macabrewittwitbaristaMarenThom
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    officialjenncamwittwitbaristamagiccats_7SteveDutzy_PBody__KindizKentWGrahamliamxtrapgod
    DearAuntAbbysf14
  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    People who say, "Less is more" have less and want you to think it's more.

    • 199
    • LIKES
    MisterMajorThommisterbrymoiDreamof_Ululocatelicombatdaveychbaechlerdubnight_breinah10
    • 102
    • RETWEETS
    MisterMajorThommisterbrymoiDreamof_UBookGirlJulietlulocatelidubnight_KhumzAomiScorpio1080
    sf14
  • Sarcasmo718
      Sarcasmo @Sarcasmo718

    The worst thing a woman can catch you doing is smiling at your phone.

    • 35
    • LIKES
    1evilidiotmahatmatweeterluvmyADHDGeoroyosf14MakesYouGiggleweb_supergirlsucre_nips
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    GeoroyofuzzlimereczitOhTurdFergussenilovepie84OkieGirl405TylerSalmonsendreamthievin
    sf14
  • SharpeBytes
      Sweet Pea @SharpeBytes

    Yelling over to my neighbor "I hope the sex is good" whilst she shovels the snow and her hubby is watching t.v. isn't mean is it?

    • 55
    • LIKES
    SarahLaletinm72plpajustwritewhatevhirojesusPeaceInTruth1RocketQueen39Fickle_FillyIcyPepsi4Me
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    justwritewhatevhirojesusFickle_FillyIcyPepsi4MeOne_FineMessBruceForcerustygunterSassyTexasGal
    sf14
  • Hormonella
      Bea Hindwhistle @Hormonella

    If guys with only one testicle don't say "I've got your Powerball right here!" I just don't want to live anymore.

    • 141
    • LIKES
    MisterMac80laughrodite4uhirojesusSoulOfOceansclindsayswaypiplipsthatcarlygirltsm560
    • 55
    • RETWEETS
    hirojesuslaughrodite4uclindsayswayInvictusDadBonJovi32truBRU379589smithjust1fool
    sf14
  • paperphotoyo
      Dorky Romano @paperphotoyo

    We all know you're no bad ass. Quit your yapping and go do something productive for once.

    - Me, to my dog whenever someone knocks.

    • 94
    • LIKES
    heyevergreenrachel2manypawstimothybird186six_2_and_evenIcyPepsi4Meangibangiejacee0308angryassbastard
    • 40
    • RETWEETS
    six_2_and_evenIcyPepsi4Mejacee0308angryassbastardMardigroan12ozCourageAnkCoupleTOBeardDeviled
    sf14
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