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Question: If men get "cock-blocked" do women get "beaver-dammed"?
You can tell a lot about a person by judging them.
I dreamed I had an iPhone 4 again, it was some real Freddy Krueger shit.
All of us are broken.
Pick up someone's pieces today, and help them back together.
American cheese is just like regular cheese, except it wears a 4XL t-shirt.
Me: I don't know how to dance to this kind of music
Beer: yes you do
You have reached your eye roll limit please try again later.
*hides your awkward boner by sitting on it.
I believe that every person has a story to tell...which is why I stay home.
No one gives a shit, everyone is too busy dealing w/ their own fuck up lives, so get over it.
~ me as a therapist
If everything went according to plan , you wouldn't meet half the people you can't be without.
I ask with my eyes.
I enjoy long romantic stares into the refrigerator.
Being a child: "Great job! You went to the doctor! Lollipops!!"
Being an adult: "You shouldn't have driven after you heard that noise. $847"
*picks up cat's left paw* no wedding ring? Interesting.
I don't suffer from depression; depression suffers from me.
Sluts are just regular girls with a higher success rate.
I hate how if a guy sleeps with a million girls, he's a stud. But if I do it, I'm a lesbian.
cannabis is not a gateway drug that leads to harder drugs, it's more of a drive thru drug that leads to cheese burgers and chicken nuggets.
head of social @Futurism
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