have a dentist appointment this morning and I have to cram 2 weeks worth of flosing, brushing, and rinsing in 30 minutes.

buying perfume, tampons, Glamor, Virginia Slims,& chocolate chunk cookies to prove to this Tracey Chapman cd how much of a woman I am.

When ppl ask me for directions, even if I don't know where the place or street is,I still give them directions. It's called common courtesy.

watching high school football. number 58 has a nice but- fuck, what am I saying? he's 17 & probably failing English Lit.

should I go to the liquor store now where I can hide my head in shame, or go at 6:30, where all the drunks will be like "HEY, Shana".

the box of cereal I bought has gone missing. I never even opened it. I really wanted to eat healthy this morning. hello leftover spaghetti.

He says:"You have such high cheek bones and soft skin." I hear:"I'm gonna lick your face then wear your skin as a windbreaker."

FUCK, I was on favstar.fm @ work & forgot to log off. IT'S STILL ON THE COMPUTER, THE OFFICE OPENS @ 6 & I COME IN @ 10:30. SAVE ME BATMAN

Sometimes you just got to say "fuck it" and go to your mom's friend's party and get felt up by Bob who's a manager at Lane Bryant.

I find it odd that my T9 recognizes the word "vagina" but refuses to acknowledge "cunt", "pussy", "clit", "down the rabbit hole". fascists.

I just walked outside with a white t-shirt on, w/o a bra in 30° weather & my 56 year old neighbor gave me his phone number. People are nice.

Rush Limbaugh is in the hospital. Since last night?!? No wonder I felt 350 lbs. of racist, hypocritical, bullshit slide off my back.

TGIF is a trending topic. haven't heard that phrase in YEARS. does this mean that Family Matters & Step by Step will be coming on tv 2night?

According to magazine covers all I need to do to find the perfect man is to be myself, lose 40 pounds, & look like a pretty white girl.

I've been holding in my farts for the past hour. WHY? I have no man, I'm fat, & I live w/ my mom & step-father. I got no one to impress.

there's a skunk outside. the smell is very strong. what's sad abt all this is that for a good 5 seconds I thought I needed to close my legs.

had a little too much to drink the other night. why doesn't anyone stop me? I'm not here for your amusement. oh, I'm more beautiful, THANKS.

dear video store I go to, u open up late, u don't have good films, & u perpetually smell of wet dogs. if it wasn't for the porn, I'd leave!!

isn't it weird that you know how ppl do things like, DOING THINGS, YOU KNOW, all day, the circle of life thing, OMG your still reading this?

Took a nice cold 20 minute shower and I'm about to walk to work in 49 degree weather. Hello walking pneumonia; nice to finally meet you.