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Hips don't lie.
You're cheating on your diet.
I may not be filthy rich but at least I'm not filthy poor.
If you think a subtweet I've done is about you then own it.
It's obviously for someone.
The advertising on here is funnier than you.
I was pondering the meaning of life when it dawned on me.
There is none, we give life meaning.
Regional Sales Manager for Chevrolet ~
"Um, um... we have trucks and stuff, GO ROYALS!"
Congrats San Fran.
Bochy is a class act.
Nice try KC.
Still Royal in my book.
What kind of bum plants Royals?
World Series game 7 ✔
Wife ~ "Honey, we need to talk" ✔
I don't get when people hate a nice day because they're at work.
If you have to work I'd rather it be nice outside.
+ thinking = + attitude
Cause the boys in the hood are always horny.
Only a guy from Minnesota would consider sunny at night happiness
Here's a thought. If the elevator tries to break you down, try the stairs
~ ghetto mom teaching her kids manners
Sexual advances sounds like a prostitute's bank.
My wife wants credit card surgery.
In real life I'm not very good with emotions or mushy words but I make it up by working hard and being reliable.
Whenever someone squeezes my hand hard during a handshake I punch them with my left hand to see how tough they really are.
"My anaconda don't want none unless you've got funds, hun"
~ Gigolo, probably
Twitter should be an escape, not a destination. http://favstar.fm/users/shanethevein