Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Free clit piercing.
It'll only hurt a little.
Faith is just another word for gullible.
Do people who stand on the corner holding a "Will work for food" sign know that if they worked for money like everyone else they can buy it?
Don't think of it as losing your virginity.
Think of it as giving it to me for safe keeping.
Are women no longer batshit crazy?
I haven't seen a batshit crazy tweet in a while.
My shits are bipartisan.
No wonder that New England Raiders game was so close.
I walk up to young couples dating and whisper (it's all downhill from here).
Don't worry Tom.
You still have Gisele.
I miss the days when people would cross the street if they saw me walking their way.
Hey, ask me if my tweet is serious.
This girl was flirting with me real hard till she found out I was married. Now she's flirting with another dude.
Man, there's no loyalty.
The poorest people have the most expensive phones.
Homeless people with pets.
If Mondays weren't bad enough the rest of the world has to tolerate our football tweets.
It's either fuck bitches get money or fuck money get bitches, it can't be both.
Fútbol Americano means use your hands in Spanish.
I don't feel like I accomplished anything when a celebrity follows me.
Now unfollowing, that's a different story.
Remember cameras that didn't text or receive calls?
Twitter should be an escape, not a destination. http://favstar.fm/users/shanethevein