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My back up plan is to put it in reverse.
Can I retweet you retweeting me?
So Aretha Franklin got kicked out of a burger joint.
If an x is a hug and an o is a kiss then is a u tongue or her legs in the air?
The Black Eyed Peas stopped making music.
So now they're just The Peas.
The rhythm method doesn't work if you're white.
There's no wisdom in tweets.
This is as about as good as they get.
When fat people says they have a thyroid problem I'm thinking they can't stop eating them.
A mind is a terrible thing to waist.
People will do anything for attention.
Like tweeting for example.
Strip clubs with no alcohol?
Maybe I'm buying an expensive sports car because I'm over compensating for not having any money?
Listening is sexy.
I hate a talkative man but when a man does talk, a woman who listens is sexy.
It's not a one night stand.
It's an audition to see if I want to talk to you for the rest of my life.
I think I ate a spider last night.
She's at the end of the bed smoking a cigarette.
I like my chicks with a big ass...
The first step to a better life is backwards.
My kids don't want to hang out with me because their friends think I'm cool.
Parenting is hard.
I don't have a drinking problem.
I have a sharing problem.
Twitter should be an escape, not a destination. http://favstar.fm/users/shanethevein