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I may be doing Twitter wrong but I'm doing it on purpose.
I don't know what all the fuss is about.
I tell pretty girls they're pretty all the time. Only fair I tell the ugly ones they're ugly.
Is "spellcheck" one word or two?
Man, I wish there was an easier way to do this.
Tell your girlfriend she looks good tonight.
Information travels so fast nowadays.
I liked the old days when you didn't know your favorite artist was a douche.
What's a Rari?
Is that like a Kia?
Amy had an accident so everyone is in the parking lot looking at it.
I had an accident this morning but I don't see anyone in this bathroom.
I have to stop retweeting so much.
I feel slimy.
I don't know why they call it a sleepover?
They do everything but sleep.
What's this I hear about Chewbacca's mother?
If you wanna make old people wild out just play some Dre/Snoop.
My wife is mad at me for something I did in her dreams.
To be honest she has a reason to be if she knew what I was doing in my dreams.
Remember those people who did tweets about homeless people?
I hope they're homeless now.
Most Americans can't even spell ingenuity.
Enough with the GIFs, we get it.
Literally! We all can do it.
Where's Black Panther when you need him?
Who named it period sex instead of a period piece?
How come the black superhero has to be called "BLACK" Panther? Why not just Panther?
Should we call Captain America Captain White America?
I used to hate the term "Embrace the suck" in the military.
This ain't no blowjob drill sergeant.
Twitter should be an escape, not a destination. http://t.co/gtqZ5pdQHs
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