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If you want to see some colorful eggs go to easter brunch in a gay neighborhood.
I'm including a lucky rabbit's foot in all of the kid's easter baskets.
Dyeing my eggs blue.
Women who hate the way they look in pictures, wait ten years
You'll wish you looked as good now as you did then, don't take it for granted
I love my children.
Not enough to quit tweeting though.
It's okay to spit today.
Your love speaks to me.
In a language I can't understand.
Love like you've never loved before.
You'll end up drinking like you can't quench your thirst.
I accidentally looked at your oldest tweet and now I have to unfollow you.
A group of people doing memes is called Twitter.
It's not that I don't believe in God, I don't believe in religion.
I can think for myself, there's no higher power than your mind.
It's Good Friday for all you religious people out there.
For the rest of you it's a great Friday.
Rent a car.
The original Pimp My Ride.
Like you've never been racist?
I'm not racist, but I can be.
I wish my employees worked as hard at their jobs as they do trying to get out of doing it.
I really thought that service dog joke would've done better.
You know, because a dog servicing you is gross.
Twitter should be an escape, not a destination. http://favstar.fm/users/shanethevein