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  • shanethevein
      Shane @shanethevein

    I'm that asshole who buys everyone a shot then calls you a pussy if you don't drink it.

    • 23
    • FAVS
    ashgrashTorriablehatehugBDGarpthe_anastasiaMindBytesDaniLynn1024cityrider49
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    jaydelgrecoGrabTheWEness_ZachRapp_
  • shanethevein
      Shane @shanethevein

    Pro tip - Draw a dick on your own forehead before drinking tonight so there's no pressure to be the first person to pass out.

    • 21
    • FAVS
    ashgrashTorriablehatehugthe_anastasiaMindByteskayfroblurryfotoJTQuest
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    alee_gsseawitchxxesaucedo311GrabTheWEnessMisss_Lady_Maam
  • shanethevein
      Shane @shanethevein

    I don't care if you have to work on Saturday, there's still something exciting about Fridays.

    • 16
    • FAVS
    ashgrashAskBellaWagnercityrider49schumyxxxKali_MuraGeauxSaints79the_anastasialovemydogduck
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    lovemydogduckitsClairbearIamEveryDayPpl
  • shanethevein
      Shane @shanethevein

    When you lose trust in the one you admire you lose trust in everyone.

    • 30
    • FAVS
    gachnadzbhrnthe_anastasiaFlyoverJoelmichowlKimberWitchdeathtoscumbagszombieparrot
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    gachnadzbhrnmichowlDownFrontArtist_VLeighAvatar_unknown_48
  • shanethevein
      Shane @shanethevein

    I miss the old days when I would be losing an argument I'd just punch him.

    Sucks being a grown up.

    • 22
    • FAVS
    gachthe_anastasiaFlyoverJoelGlorificus917SoJayDidcityrider49RealPrincessKimashgrash
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    legendarykaz
  • shanethevein
      Shane @shanethevein

    We all have that one guy at work that paces back and forth outside of the building on their bluetooth.

    Douchebag.

    • 28
    • FAVS
    calluptomegachthe_anastasiaCtotheASSTerrillificHeyZeus666FlyoverJoelcityrider49
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    OutOnTheMoors
  • shanethevein
      Shane @shanethevein

    I think the girl who moved into the suite next door is flirting with me. She keeps coming into my office to say hi.

    She got that Hey fever.

    • 22
    • FAVS
    _VLeighcandybuttcheeksTerrillificcityrider49wcstryfeKali_Muracrucifysorrow14Alex_N_Chains
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    crucifysorrow14cocainecashmere
  • shanethevein
      Shane @shanethevein

    I like to go against the grain and prove my doubters right.

    • 21
    • FAVS
    gachTerrillificcityrider49skullpuppy11mynameisellepwcstryfeAlex_N_ChainsOtisPdQ
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    TerrillificMrsGoose69TweekIsMeR3D8ING_BUS_19PitsClairbearAvatar_unknown_48
  • shanethevein
      Shane @shanethevein

    I love how people get themselves verified on a place as meaningless as Twitter.

    "No dude, really, it's me".

    • 41
    • FAVS
    MmeLaCroozCourageDRakjtxgirlblondebombsangieissoBizarreLazarmoonbabi9sweetg35
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    angieissoDownFrontArtisthmmthereRawanFakhoury1DontTouchMyWineswollenvoiceCherBear162R3D8ING_BUS_19P
  • shanethevein
     
    Shane @shanethevein

    @juicymorsel Don't you hate those people who only fav your tweets when there's a typo in it?

    • 2
    • FAVS
    CherBear162juicymorsel
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    CherBear162
  • shanethevein
      Shane @shanethevein

    Typos are a great way to keep yourself humble.

    • 21
    • FAVS
    Terrillificthe_anastasiaFlyoverJoelswollenvoiceMICMACMONnadzbhrnCherBear162gach
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    _VLeighCherBear162
  • shanethevein
      Shane @shanethevein

    They call it "Raisin the dead" because if it was alive it would call it a grape.

    • 18
    • FAVS
    candybuttcheeksthe_anastasiaswollenvoiceCherBear162gachCheeseboy22Bloodshot_InkThe_Sculptress
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    candybuttcheeksBobinhidingCherBear162OutOnTheMoors
  • shanethevein
      Shane @shanethevein

    Thanks for the DMs but my tweets are just jokes.

    I'm not really that pathetic.

    • 23
    • FAVS
    candybuttcheeksTerrillificthe_anastasiaswollenvoiceGadZukskickitupanachoCherBear162ColdWar2AD
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    GadZuksCherBear162Neuronicism
  • shanethevein
      Shane @shanethevein

    The morning started with a fender bender then my computer crashed at work and now my wife wants a divorce.

    Things are starting to look up.

    • 26
    • FAVS
    the_anastasiageorgeduff2FlyoverJoelswollenvoiceCherBear162schumyxxxCroweJamErik_Allen
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    CherBear162
  • shanethevein
      Shane @shanethevein

    You know how people always wonder why someone unfollowed them?

    Fuck it, I drop them a DM first.

    I'm nice like that.

    • 24
    • FAVS
    swollenvoiceSeitenWaiseCroweJamFaux_MaDesperate_LoserhoneybadgerMelFlyoverJoelSoo_Scandalouss
  • shanethevein
      Shane @shanethevein

    Blind date?

    I'd rather go on a deaf date.

    • 35
    • FAVS
    mcderdScottLinnenhipchkkswollenvoiceHeyZeus666CherBear162johngayseeCroweJam
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    CherBear1621800Randyslyoung5elisa_212007CindyNoPants
  • shanethevein
      Shane @shanethevein

    I like to go to the Men's Wearhouse.

    It suits me.

    (I'm out of jokes and trying to get a free suit)

    • 34
    • FAVS
    swollenvoiceSuMacDangachCroweJamDelanieFischerMinivanBarbieredpawn3the_anastasia
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    redpawn3JonAdams891800RandydoovusGooberforce
  • shanethevein
      Shane @shanethevein

    It's dangerous driving in San Diego during bikini season.

    • 20
    • FAVS
    swollenvoiceSeitenWaiseCroweJamFaux_Mathe_anastasiaDesperate_LoserhoneybadgerMelFlyoverJoel
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    suzysbad
  • shanethevein
      Shane @shanethevein

    Dude!

    You're better than that tweet.

    • 28
    • FAVS
    swollenvoiceGloGurLCherBear162CroweJamFaux_Mathe_anastasianadzbhrnDesperate_Loser
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    CherBear162Soo_ScandaloussfunnyguyheatherjsMiniMeWeeGuy
  • shanethevein
      Shane @shanethevein

    I can always tell if a man is talking to a woman on his cell by how violently he moves his free hand.

    • 33
    • FAVS
    swollenvoiceCroweJamFaux_Mathe_anastasiaDesperate_LoserthunderinmysoulhoneybadgerMelFlyoverJoel
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    honeybadgerMelezeike072John_M15katiedx3awesomekenyanheatherjsJ8er
@shanethevein

@shanethevein
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Twitter should be an escape, not a destination. http://t.co/gtqZ5pdQHs

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