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Fit girl: hey! Have you thought about trying advocare?!
Me: uhm, no I choose to be fat. Thanks though!
Now watch me drink (do it!)
Now watch me cry cry (kill it!)
Now watch me drink drink
Watch me cry cry (want me do it?) 🎶
This is just a fact! ---Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Wore sweatpants to work tonight. Are you jealous?
I made the mistake of letting my mom cut my hair tonight. She only knows "the mullet."
Looking at my old tweets. I am so funny. WHY IS NO ONE FAVING my tweets. I'm literally crying into my wine right now. Do I even exist?
Part time comedian in Columbus, ohio. Half Macedonian and half Italian... which means I have a mustache.
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