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Wore sweatpants to work tonight. Are you jealous?
I made the mistake of letting my mom cut my hair tonight. She only knows "the mullet."
Looking at my old tweets. I am so funny. WHY IS NO ONE FAVING my tweets. I'm literally crying into my wine right now. Do I even exist?
Oh, you're gluten free?! So are my tits.
Comedian in Columbus, ohio. 26. Half Macedonian and half Italian... which means I have a mustache.
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