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Wore sweatpants to work tonight. Are you jealous?
I made the mistake of letting my mom cut my hair tonight. She only knows "the mullet."
Looking at my old tweets. I am so funny. WHY IS NO ONE FAVING my tweets. I'm literally crying into my wine right now. Do I even exist?
Are there any other hopeless romantics out there? Am I the only one? Or is this a dying bread?
My credit union doesn't have tellers anymore. They only have computers with telephones attached to them. Is this our future? Bc it's awful..
I always tell people I'm a night owl. These people text me at 8am. Uhm, hellooo. I'm not awake idiot.
Comedian in Columbus, ohio. 26. Half Macedonian and half Italian... which means I have a mustache.
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