I mostly just want someone to drink wine with me and play with my hair.

"I think that George Clooney should actually be in all movies, and if he's not in the movie they should have a picture of him in the corner"

i could neverrrr be lesbian. vaginas FREAK ME OUT and most girls annoy me.

nothing says "i'm on my period, don't fucking talk to me" like yoga pants, a messy bun, french fries, and a chocolate milkshake.

liquor before beer, you're in the clear.
brush your teeth before orange juice, DEATH.

just saw a kitchen where the entire island was a wine fridge. so now i know what i want when i grow up.

@slutsherface the best girls use both

"ya, he's fat and ridiculous. but he's MY fat. and MY ridiculous."

"studies show that people who sleep with multiple pillows are often lonely or depressed" oh. *pushes all 8 pillows off the bed*

I like my coffee like I like my men. black.

a dating service where men just show up at my house and I cuddle with them for 10 minutes to decide if they get to stay

maybe my favorite text message I've ever recieved cc: @stephanieraeee pic.twitter.com/PXDLwjspkr

it's officially reached that time of night where I'd rather just be in bed with my iPhone.

are red lips a little much today? no. red lips are the perfect amount of much. 💋

wearing an ex-boyfriend's sweater as a dress. don't even remember which ex-boyfriend's it was.

we're relatively attractive.. I guess. @darceyylovesyou http://t.co/vhMOiOQI

you know what i'm bad at? flipping eggs. there. i said it.

the most beautiful man i've seen on this island is sitting right next to me. aaaand now i'm awkward.

even the man passed out drunk on a park bench at 3 in the afternoon on a Monday is married. I suppose there is hope for me after all.

I just described myself as "sexually aggressive" in a text message to my mother, which Color promptly changed to "sexually free" hahah omg