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I'm unstable, due to drinking.
You wouldn't know to look at them, but cows are surprisingly fast.
My jeans are tight today. Fucking dryer keeps shrinking things!
*takes another bite of a Snickers and washes it down with a swig of Coke*
Already been drunk had 2 naps this year...
I think I like 2013.
Going to Dick's to buy some exercise equipment for my garage sale this spring.
Just slipped on an ant and fell into a puddle of mud. I hate 2013
I asked the 16 year old bagging my groceries why he pierced his tongue, he said "tho I cah expreth mythelf."