Hey guys, just using twitter to argue weak/flawed logic with atheists I trolled. Next target: scientology (because it'll require research)

Me:"Follower count report, #1!" #1:(me w/squeaky vox) "Stable at 47, sir" Me: "Steady as she goes #1." #1:(squeaky vox) "Aye, Aye Cap'n!"

@donglord69 "From the living-room chair, right back to your bed, most every day you wish you were dead." ~Dr. Suess~

Found out today that my sister has a twilight inspired wolf tramp stamp. Says beautiful wolf below it in French, life is a hilarious joke.

I call man wearing a horse-head mask and a diaper full of swiss army knives to the stand. I rest my case.

Do a ollie or some kickflips #coolcrime

it's depressing that @mdvaldosta gets 30k followers by tweeting bits from "filthy" joke books until you think about how many love twilight

Hey @nasa_astronauts how much waste product can space diapers hold? How are they disposed of? Is there a diaper can shaped like a rocket?

.@atheistcrow You're an evangelical Atheist, the difference between you and evangelical Christians is simply which bandwagon you ride, cunt.

.@atheistcrow I realize the velvety neckbeard cascading down your double-chin limits the flow of oxygen to your ape-brain, but try to focus.

.@atheistcrow Just more proof that #atheists aren't any more likely to find facts than the "sheeple" they so vehemently protest...

Hey #atheists, God reigns supreme, women shouldn't be allowed to vote, and dinosaurs and man never lived at the same time #2truths&aLIE

Being a stay at home dad is like living with a tiny crippled version of me from college. She's always drinking, puking, crying or shitting.

@donglord69 not going to bullshit+say that "maybe we can still make us work" feeling goes away, because it don't, my life is better now tho.

@spergers that's when you blow a huge load into the toilet while taking a dump. Channed the tatum is the past tense.

Soulful swaying titties crooning black millipedes into oblivion.

@ianaction Cream in they tummies, saucers fulla milk y'all

Hey assholes, were you aware that EVERY SINGLE BUSINESS is REQUIRED BY LAW to give you free cake if it's your birthday? #themoreyouuknow

@donglord69 Funny how the folks against birth control are usually also against sex ed curriculum...

Sorry twitter, I've been busy starting my hair(y Potter)-metal band. It's called Whitesnape. *sponsored tweet* click here for a free iPad.