#SeppBlatterPenaltyAlternatives Serious one, do penalties like hockey. Start from centre circle, 15 seconds to score from anywhere

Gaddafi, Bin Laden & now Kim Jong Ill. 2011 was not a good year to be a tyrannical fucknugget.

@uktesco @nomorepage3 You choose to advertise with a paper at odd with your "family values". Therefore it is a matter for you, in a big way

Can you solve this puzzle? Hate to boast (I don't, I love it) but I got it instantly. http://t.co/UAjo7Anw

Probably the best corner kick routine you'll ever see! From an U17 game between Serbia & Moldova. Amazing. http://t.co/YLB1VQT6

Never forget the sacrifice made for all of us...

#atheism http://t.co/bcI8SIMG

Highly recommend going to see The Shallow End at Southwark Playhouse. Satire of newspaper ethics. Very prescient. Saw it last night, was ace

Possibly the funniest thing on the Internet:

Amazon reviewers leave hilarious comments on Methylated Spirits. Gold  http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B002ATI4VG …

Imagine how better the world would be if every crack & dent were filled with Lego. pic.twitter.com/tEK4Wlb9

Is this the most pretentious middle class toy ever?

http://t.co/SKJQ57yD

@cunthorse I used to work with a Singaporean lady called Fanny Pong. If you don't find that funny then you must be dead

There are some phenomenally stupid people on twitter.

Actually welling up

“@misselliemae: 40 Of The Most Powerful Photographs Ever Taken - http://t.co/Sbrz8BEm < you might cry at some of these”

#bestnamesinfootballhistory

All real XI:


Digweed

Fanni Arce Shittu Funck

Butt Bastard Doudou Pinas

Goodwillie Moustache

Love how twitter has full details on the Clapham explosion and BBC news has nothing. New media wins

LOVE LOVE LOVE!

“RT @dansabbagh: Daily Mail correction. Well sort of: http://t.co/Ijv0ZH5K”

So Max Clifford has been arrested for merging Picturehouse with Instagram?

@tube_boob just got a kiss on the cheek from some ladies on a night out for standing aside & letting them off the central line. Love London!

Liverpudlians boycott The Sun over Hillsborough. Everybody should boycott it for various vile reasons. It's just trash

Those escalators are going to play havoc with their hooves

“@bbclondonnews: Avoid London Bridge station - planned equestrian event"