If someone developed an "Anti-Maniacal-Narcissist Pill" this Sheen thing could end quickly. Heck, It could put a big dent in twitter too.

"OM OM OM!" - Transcendental Cookie Monster

I don't buy fast food, but if you are coming over to my house, you should definately bring some.

I keep forgeting to smoke pot.

Hey Australia, since you are raptured first, please live-tweet it. I can't stand the suspense. *kisses*

Olive Garden is a good restaurant. - Person who has never been to a decent restaurant.

And really, where else could you pal-around with and joke with complete strangers. Twitter is truly extraordinary.

I can't help but love the fact that some of the most explicit tweets come from the most sweet and innocent avis. I love the contrast.

Wild flowers picked on a country road, beats a dozen roses any day.

I've killed every fly in the house, except one. Now I am worried the last fly will be lonely. My empathy knows no bounds... and I suck.

I just gave someone a mercy star fuck. Pathetic cries for attention get me every time.

I beg of you, forgive my spelling everyday all day.

I like you sooo much more when I am ovulating.

My computer would work better if I turned it off.

Well, at least my fat pants fit.

It would be better if Sarah Palin inserted a giant butt plug in her mouth. #bedazzled

People are already complaining about the cold. This year I plan to ignore the cold like a fucking superhero. Yep. Until I get cold.

The ASPCA is clearly not doing enough to stop the abuse of spirit animals.

My thoughts have typos. :I

E. Coli is organic, right?